All That, More Than That, Just That... Blah!

School's in. Nothing new except for new faces in class including the professor. I feel so, damn, little for taking Trigonometry for the third time. I could just imagine what my friends, classmates and other people in between those categories are thinking. I feel pretty... stupid! Hahaha... Atleast I feel pretty. *Growls* I hate it. People take me for some junk; some good-for-nothing-but-music jukebox! That's why I'm laying low with my music thingy for a moment. They don't seem to trust me with anything but singing but I know I can be and I really am more than just that. I need to fix my life and be the ME that I am or that I WAS. I used to be good with my studies... I used to receive recognitions... I used to be on 'top'... Well, I used to be that but not anymore. I know I shouldn't let these things get into my head 'cause I might just self-destruct and break into pieces again and start picking myself up all-over again which is really hard. I keep on lying with my laughs and smile. It would seem like I'm using my friends to hide the fact that I'm very unhappy. Oh, well. I'm not in the mood for letting anybody or anything let me down today so I'll just go on living my life the way I used to live it. It feels so good...

I haven't been blogging for quite some time now. I wanted to but I can't seem to organize my thoughts; the feeling just isn't there. *Whooo* I don't wanna do this anymore...

I posted AJ's picture for inspiration. I worked hard on editing the color because its kinda blurry and brown. Such beautiful Kodak moment deserves a rich color to give it the life it has. I really love that guy. The effort was worth it. He makes me wanna go on. *Awww* I can't wait till June when their album will be out. But though I'm excited, I'm still frustrated 'cause not all of their merchandise are available in the Philippines. Just a few. Very few. I read a few articles and saw some pictures when I did a little research on Paris Hilton because sometime in 2004 she became Nick Carter's girlfriend. I think she's bitchy for an heiress. One magazine called her past boyfriends "boy-toys", a term which I think is fit for a playgirl. I don't think she's that pretty though. Still, I don't really know. She wouldn't be a model if people don't think she's pretty; Like I care! I don't find those stuff about her very nice 'cause it's definitely bad publicity. But I can't judge her just for that because in the first place I don't know her and I wouldn't bother to write anything about her if it wasn't for Nick Carter, who happens to be part of the five people I love most in the world, which is the Backstreet Boys. I felt good when I saw this picture of Paris inside a circle and a slash with a caption that says: SAY NO TO PARIS!

Summer classes so far are doing good and so am I. I understand my lesson better now --that includes math!-- and haven't failed any quiz yet, long and short. I hope I make it this time. I'm trying to focus now on what I'm doing and never let my mind off it, as if I'm in the wilds working with pure instinct, keeping watchful eyes for predators, taking care of myself and being on top of the food chain so I can survive. So far it works. Sometimes you can learn more with the animals than humans and I just wish I could spend sometime with them. Darn! I miss watching NGC. I miss the damn cable! Well, human or not LIFE seems to be always on the concept of survival of the fittest. I think I'm at it. Ready to try my luck back in the bushes. I didn't really have much to reflect last Holy Week but it somehow gave me my spirit back and with the death of the Pope... Things about him came out, his life, his deeds, everything. I want to be like him. I can't be as religious as he was but I just have to find something to dedicate myself in working to so I could succeed... I can't wait! Woohoo!