Just happy to be there...

I'm very happy last Thursday. And that special happiness carries on until today. Feel like I've never this been happy for years. I bet you have no idea how happy I am. Here's the story: It's summer and I'm taking my summer classes. I never came to me that my Trigonometry period will be my happiest; I'm usually bored, confused, and brain-wrecked with this subject. Just imagine how many times in a lifetime I have to take this dreaded subject... one in highschool, three in college because I failed it for two consecutive 2nd semesters. Now summer's cool. I don't have much to worry about. I more focused this time of the year. Plans fail but I strongly feel that I'm going to pass it this time. I've been passing my quizzes and seatworks, hopefully I make it through the major examination. And I thought that the Backstreet Boys' come back is the only thing that'll make me happy this summer but there is something more. April 14, 2005, Thursday is such a blessed day. Heaven-sent with every sense of it. I have a new friend in class her name is Katrina. She's really nice and I even got more friends through her because I got to hang-out with her classmates, BCS11. But that's not it. She's only a part of the story. She is seated beside me because we were arranged in alphabetical order. I got close to her instantly on the first day of class, she told me I looked familiar and asked me... Ah! never mind that. There. She is seated beside me but she had to go to the front row that day to seat beside her classmate for reasons I don't know. And so she did. She went there but left her bag on her seat. Meanwhile, Rex [a very good reason to smile], one of my ultimate "Crushmates" was sitting at the last row behind my row [second to the last] because he came in late and somebody has already taken his seat. He asked if anybody was sitting on the empty chair beside me and I told him that she was already up front and asked him if he wanted to seat there. I moved the bag to give him the seat and took it. *Smiles wide deep inside* First thing he asked was if I understood the lesson and I humbly said that I did, a little. He said that he didn't quite understood it but believes he could pass it and I believe it too. Then our conversation started. He and another classmate, Darwin from BCS11, noticed our teacher's pants. Is it opened? I did too. But it was hard to see because the zipper is of the same color as her pants. I told them that was good because if it weren't the same color we would have seen it opened and that's... not good for her. And it went on. We talked about where we were from and I discovered a few things we have in common, he opened up something to me about his days back in highschool and how he hated it... we talked about a lot of things in that very short span of time. Time just seemed to be running smoother that it ever did before... the summer heat seemed to have a became a gentle breeze on my face. As we talked, I glanced at him every once in a while; I look at his forehead, his hair, his face, his hands... I didn't feel my heart beat faster, as a matter of fact I didn't feel it at all. All I felt was perpetual happiness for at long last my high hopes of getting close to him was then and there. He talked to me like I'm one of his closest friends whom he always hang out with, confide his secrets... It just felt great to be there. That sweet little moments is one of the greatest thing that simply rocks my world and make me happy. Being a friend to someone I consider special for reasons that I don't really have a clear reason for liking them. I can feel it. We'll be close friends and this summer will be one of my most memorable. Taking the subject for the third time is a blessing in disguise. God has his reason for bringing me there. And I can't be thankful enough. I'll never be ashamed anymore. The very thing that brings me down is now the key for my happiness. That conversation with him would have never been if I passed it the first time or the second time I took it. Maybe it would have still happened but in another occasion or in another setting but I would prefer it that way. My LIFE is almost back now. I feel more alive and have more reasons to live than I had last year. The Gothic thing I had wasn't really that bad because I had it for Art but I think I'll be off of it for now. My world is full of color and I guess the shadows won't be back for a long time and I'm glad about that. I'll be living the life I used to have: the funky, perky, full of life, spice, fantasy, soul, active, boy-bonded, street-smart... the ME that used to be...