Forgotten existence and unfathomed reasons...

You don't remeber me but I remember you...

That goes out to 95% of all the people I know in my entire life. Sad is not the word but forgotten. They've all forgotten to remember I'm still here, Hello! I'm asking for help but nobody would care to; not even bother to tell you, "Hey, I don't wanna help you. Scram!". That is really nice and I'm glad I can finally shift. I'll be going my own way now. It's just makes me sick to my stomach knowing you're ready to be there for them if they need you but they'd all walk out when it's your turn to ask for their f*cking presence. Some soliloquy! Things happen for a reason and maybe it has a reason though I don't wanna understand b'cause if I do, I'd have lesser things to brood about and my loneliness wouldn't be complete without it. I just wish I don't have to get through this as often as I do. I'm wrecking my brain just because of repetitive, deja-vu like, sickening turn of events -- happens all the time but I never get used to it.

I've nowhere else to go but I cannot stay where I don't belong...

Arayt, here I go again. The whole of humanity is blaming me for the virus and spywares that is currently infesting and slowly destroying the PCs system. It's me and my 'downloads' again. Pornographic sites and sex-related stuff are popping out from nowhere and the blame is on me again. I hate this life. It makes me more sickened of living with the same people, in the same house, sharing the same computer, arguing the same arguments... I wanted to reason out but at the same time I don't want to. It's hard to understand but I can't let people know how I feel. I wanna leave this house but I have nowhere else to. I have my reasons for doing things but they don't know that and I won't tell. If thay wanna know, they gotta learn it but they wouldn't learn it from I assure it. I've laid out my plans and I should have less room for errors and delays. I need some distractions to help me out on my way to success. I just hope things will turn out fine in the end...

I fought it a thousand times but now I'm leaving...