Does the moonlight shine on Paris, 'cause tonight it shines on me?

Tonight is the time of the month when the full moon beams brightly by my window. It shines directly into my face as I lie in my bed. It hits straight to my face like I have a skylight window at my ceiling. It reminds me how I call the state I'm in while the moon is that high and lights up the dark half part of the world where I'm in; I get hyper, and more active at night -night life, haha!- than I am at night, I dance behind my door, sing like I was Aurora (sleeping beauty, if you didn't know) by the woods, Lunacy. Well, my mind is not disranged but I think it's cute to call that behavior that. It's hard for me to stop and even to sleep when the moon's that up. My last exam tomorrow is scheduled at 2:00pm so I still have time to stay up tonight and finish this entry. This week has been cruel to me and I can't help and I have no other choice but hold myself and hold back my tears. I doubt it if anybody knows that I cry a little almost everyday because there are just things that can't be changed but I have to accept though it's really hard and I doubt if I can take it. The moon is always good to be with when you don't wanna do anything but think...

The consequences of your actions,

Really, are just a game

And your life is just a chain reaction

taking you day-by-day...

Nothing's forever in this crazy world...

It was relieving that I finally shifted course and spared myself from the hardship that will be inflicted upon me once again if I have to take another Math subject. I've been little for so long and longer I have been wounded by feeling so stupid because my fate always hangs by a thread because of something I have to endure without me really needing it in real life or even keep it inside my head for future use. I got no mercy for six years in my grade school, four times in my high school, twice in my college life. It was hell of a pain to think that I was dumb. What then could get more painful than this? I thought. Then came Wednesday, yesterday. Being a shiftee and having, most of, my subjects for my course credited, what could go wrong? I, with a friend, went to the school ministry office to check my recollection schedule. I knew something like this was coming but still it came to me as a shock. I can't join the block. I have to join other beings in a recollection. Since I went to college, this has been my most awaited time of the year but something as significant as this is about to lose its meaning. I don't wanna think about it but I can't get it off my head. I was reviewing for my Art Appreciation exam and I wanna cry but I can't let them see that. I try to laugh with them 'cause they were having fun making fun of each other, I smile while talking nonsense with them -- always fun especiallywhen you do it with them. BUT There's always a price to pay for every decision we make and this is it. I don't see the guys as often as I want to because our schedules hardly meet, I'm running out of subjects where I can join them, I'm a sophomore again and they'll already be graduating next year which leaves me and a very few behind. I may be being so mushy but I'm just being true to myself.

Sadness is beautiful.

Loneliness is tragical.

It'll be lonely without them but, in time, I'll have to deal with it. I'm currently, as I write, listening to Siberia. It's dark and mysterious, says the song but it'll just be when I get there. Then plays Never Gone. My mind is already filming a photostory for the them with the same song.

Never gone from me.

If there's one thing I believe,

I will see you somewhere down the road again.

A lot of them has gone already, off to search for their destiny, dealing with what life gave them and some facing the what their life has become. We all are, actually the only difference is that we are still together for now. Drawing strength from each other, feeding on the fruits of life and jumping over hurdles together. These will come to an end someday, we have to part ways. That makes me want to look at them longer and cherish every moment...

Close your eyes,

Make a wish,

This could last forever,

If only you could stay with me now...

Yesterday, LA came and treated us to lunch. I didn't know he already came back and is off to leave again. It was nice to see him after a long time. Most of us ordered Lechong Kawali and as I chew on my fatty lunch and laugh with the rest of the guys as one joke about the other. I'll be missing those faces, the loud laughs, the punchlines, green jokes, the tears, even the silence. It's really hard to let go of people whom you have made a special attachment with and those stuff with them and about them that you are already used to. We also played DotA. Of course, we won, Randy, Patrick S. and I against Benedict, Patrick V. and someone I don't know. I'm a lousy player but it sure was nice that the guys would still accept me as a teammate. Haha! And earlier, they had a basketball game and I went there just to watch 'cause I have no exam scheduled today. I missed the Ganti episode for today because I hanged out with the guys but I don't mind because time slips away so fast and I can't afford to miss this one and I have to be there while it last...

... It's the chance I take,

even if I break...