Fight or flight

The month of August kicks off and I'm in dilemma. I don't wanna hang out or even to talk anybody. I don't know. I have so many things inside my head but I don't really know what. I wanna get depressed but I have no reason to be. I wanna get mad at people and I have a lot of reason why I should be but I feel lazy. Haha! But I'm serious; I wanna feel something but I'm too lazy. I just wanna be alone, have my privacy. People who can observed and have been seeing me might think something's wrong with me but well, yeah, there is. So... you tell me what. I wanna feel sick in the head but I don't want to. If anybody could atleast tell me something to make me feel better. Actually, I already have calmed down from the rage I felt 2 days ago, now I've become so calm that I want eternal peace but not death.

I still have 4 days to think if I'd go for that audition. Philip said I should but I really need to be told what to do regarding that. I need to see Felson tomorow, badly. His joining too and I need to go there with him or anybody. I need backup. Oh, man! The stars are calling me but I don't know how to respond. Can you imagine just how light my head feels? Nothing's in.

Though things are mixed up in my head, I still have my reason for keeping sane. He takes my breath away while giving me back my life. I haven't met him yet and I can't get him off my mind but I'll see him soon. Should I see a psychiatrist? Tell me how to fight this...

Cogie... Cogie... Cogie...