Drawing the Line

Now Playing: GO TO DISTANCE - MICHAEL BOLTON

I remember being sent with a text message by friend that said something like: Giving up is ceasing to hold on what was rightfully yours while Letting go is ceasing to hold on to something that was never yours. I'm not sure if I remember it right but it sure makes sense. When do you really stop holding on?

I came to realize just a few nights ago that stardom or even wishing for it was never for me. Pretending to be able to take the pressure and the tension of wanting that much is too much for me to handle. I hoped to start from simple things wishing to make it big someday but even the small beginning I've dreamt of making great turn out to be some disaster. Somethings are meant to be, same as, some are not and this seems to be one of it. Let me drift into the galaxy of stars without having to be there. This is not self-pity, not at all, I just think I've already hoped too much and letting go is timely.

I may be disappointing those few who believed and still believes in me. I, too, believed I can make it in showbiz but I was never trained for it nor have I learned it from anybody, anywhere. I was and still a dreamy-eyed child, who has her own world, loves Backstreet Boys, draws anything, anywhere, sings to herself, plays alone; That was basically me. I never stoped dreaming and I already made it big in my dreams.

I enjoyed joining and quitting bands a couple of times, having to embarrass ourselves infront of the whole university, it was such a thrill stepping in to GMA to try out for Pinoy Pop Superstar, it was a shame that I had to sing Lupang Hinirang with wrong lyrics and a runny nose in a Seminar-Workshop, join a singing contest having to swallow the side comments, not hearing your voice and forgetting the lyrics... These were the things and more that I had to experience, ad I believe I already had enough. Not that I don't want any more but there's gotta be something better for me than those. I said I'd try it again and do some more stuffs with the people I usually do it with but they gotta understand I'm in search of something more.

I was told there is more to life than we're having today.

I know what I'm trying to say is still vague. I can't find the right words and I cannot find it in myself to say truly and exactly what I conceal.

Where I'm meant to be, is what I wanna know. What fate am I to embrace? Now I know why I came to love Disney's Hercules, I'm just like him. I won't tell why...

I get teary-eyed when I see people younger than I am who achieved a lot more than I have, I know I'm better than them but they had more chance.

Will I ever have my hero's welcome? Who knows...