:::†:: Prisoner of Eternity ::†:::

Rebirth

2008-08-31T22:01:00.000+08:00

I'll be reviving my Blogger soon. ;-)

2007-07-10T23:49:00.000+08:00

"I love walking in the rain, 'cause then no-one knows I'm crying."

I love the rain. Sarap mag-emote. My friend's been walking around this afternoon crying. But nobody knew. He just told me. I asked why he didn't tell me because I wanted to cry too. Maybe he cried for the same reason that I wanted to cry. Something inside hurts. In my head, I wanted to tell him that if only I was the one he chose, he wouldn't have had to cry. But then again, I never heard what I wanted hear. He gave his heart to someone else and the moment I knew, I didn't bother to tell. But we're good friends and I have a new reason, someone else to cry for, to cry about.

It's raining inside. It's nothing big having to walk in this rain with friends but when everybody's got to go their own way, you have to go your own way on your own. At the end of the day, you have no choice but deal with the rain on your own, alone. I tried to wash away the pain with the rain but all the more I got hurt. I can't deny what my eyes have seen, and there's no denying the feeling when I saw it. Fun is a good cover. It hides everything, at least it stops me from crying for a while but no umbrella or shelter can cover me from this kind of rain. I wish I could have fun forever, then I wouldn't have to cry. I wish I can freely cry, then I wouldn't have to hide my tears in the rain.

It's raining outside, and it's the second time this month that I went home soaked but who cares? I love the rain. Sarap mag-emote.

KISSU!!!

This is ILLOGICAL.

2007-07-08T21:21:00.000+08:00

I am Mayuri Kurotsuchi. I am Szayelapollo Grantz. I am Inui Sadaharu. To analyze is my pleasure - and for that, I care not if you were turned to ash. Bwahaha! Ashi ne? I was just talking to my friend about some personal stuffs [that you aren't going to know unless you ask me personally, kokoro no ichijou] and I told him that I am currently studying some "specimens" and gathering data and... Ahaha. Never mind. I just felt like saying those thing. well, I don't really have anything that much to write. So...

Aww.. My friend's got a girlfriend, just last Friday. Aww.. Sweetness! He told me just now. It just happened out of the blue. They both felt the same way for each other, they admitted and then.. Now they're together. What the... I envy them. I wish the same thing could happen to me. A friend's been telling me to make the first move since it doesn't really matter who says it first. The point is that you say it but I'm scared. I'm not a person who can talk about my feelings freely. And I'm not so touchy though I stealthily take my chances. Hehehe. My gut's been telling me things but my head tells me otherwise. [The last time I tried, some two or three years ago, I was late. He said he felt it too before but I was too late. He's already with someone else] It's hurts to be rejected but it hurts more not being able to say it. And I've been thinking of the consequences. He may feel the same way or not. If he does, we will end up together but if not, what could possibly happen? I can still be friends with him and pretend like nothing happened but chances are he likes someone else and he will start avoiding me and I'll be sadder than I am now. Aww.. Kanashii! I wish he knew but he has no idea. I wanted to touch him, hig him, kiss him. But I can't be to careless or I'll be too obvious.

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
[[broken.seether]]

You may be getting tired of me talking about my love and the stuffs that goes with it but it's better than having to read my I-hate-the-world posts. Hehe.

Fact: Shiawase is NOT my only happiness now. Meow.

My cousin came today. I invited her for my birthday and she came two days late. That idiot, hahaha! She thought the party will be next week but, well, it was last week. I've been planning to introduce her to my friend who likes her since New Year but it's seems like they aren't destined to meet. Haha. They were chatmates, they were textmates but they have never met. How.. Nice. Hehehe. She left with my brother to watch Transformers. I wanted to come and she was going to pay for my movie ticket but I don't feel like leaving the house today and I haven't taken a bath yet. I just told her to bring me something when she gets home.

I'm calmer now than when I was writing my last post, though my heart still feels like it's going to tear when I think of what I've been thinking. Anyway, I've been reading some astrology stuffs since the other night and I just came across something about my star sign that says I'm crabby. Wala lang. Crabbiness [Grouchy; ill-tempered.] can be cute sometimes, and it does sound cute. Hehe. That's why I love these stuff. They tell you things you already know, things you do not yet know, and things that you want to hear, be it good or bad. Ah-just-simply-lavet!

Man, I'm broke but chances are presenting themselves to me again. I think i'm joining CSPC's logo-making contest. Hahaha. It's my last year anyway, I have to take every opportunity that comes my way. $__$ La-la-la.. Ahoho!

Yay, we're watching Harry Potter on Wednesday and invading Pau-pau's [the nick, c'mon!] crib on Friday. My, my.. I'm so busy. Nyahahah!

I need a makeover. Badly. If you have only seen me two to three years ago, you would have wished I stayed that way. The way I dressed and carry myself is way different back then. The clothes I wear, eyeliners, accessories. I was a rock star. Ahaha. Look at me now. I need a new look, I'm getting sick of my current look but... I don't like shopping for clothes like my brothers 'cause I'd rather buy food with the money, and I don't like fixing my self and getting dolled up because it takes so much time. What on earth am I suppose to do? Blah! Heh!

*sob*sigh* I want a new phone [iPhone, K800 or N93 will do], I want a violin, I want a piano, I want to cosplay but I need money. Huwaaaaah!

Can I sing to you? Can I sing for you? Can you be the song I sing?

XXI

2007-07-06T00:45:00.000+08:00

Dang, I'm so stupid! Sir Joribs greeted me today. And I asked him how did he know, all he said was "Secret!" and smiled. How could have I forgotten? He was our class adviser when I was still a ComSci student. That was how he knew. It was really heart-warming that he never forgot but some kind of idiocy made me ashamed of myself. I know, and pretty sure that I've hurt his feelings. Baka! Baka! I even asked him for a favor this afternoon so I can get my files at the computer lab. I remember trying to invite him but he refused. Aww... man!

Kissu! Kissu! That word kept me laughing very hard this afternoon. Haha.. Everybody's trying to kiss somebody or get somebody to kiss someone else. Pisikalan! It's Shayne's fault! Hahaha! I'm not used to having huggey-kissey-touchey friends but it's fun [trying to avoid lips that are after you and arms and hands that try to hold you down. Waaah!]. I never had that much female friends as I was growing up and never had a sister, maybe that's why. I'm close to my female cousins but we're not that [huggey-kissey-touchey] close. I didn't even grow up to be "malambing". I was born lovesick but introverted, wild child, lone wolf, lonely and lunatic. Well, as you can all see I've changed a lot but still the same on some extent. Oh, well.. I still think girls that are kissing each other is WEIRD. ^__^\/ Hahaha!

Ditchers will die! Whoever ditches me tomorrow will suffer bad luck and humiliation for the next seven days.

Yay, I have my first project as an apprentice. I have to do my best. GAMBARE MASU! I have to summon all my darkest powers so I can create a really dark, dark-themed artwork. I met my fellow Graphics apprentice today and *fighting pose* Kyah! Hehehe! Wala lang.

Charge! Hahaha! The guys are into this game named Charge and it seems to be becoming a fever. Everybody's doing it. Nyaaah! I've never tried it and I don't think I will since I'm too uncoordinated for such games. They're into Magic The Gathering too and, Word Game [I love this one!], Logic game. Of course, I don't know how to play Magic and I'm not into card games and the Logic game... I'm not so much of a logical person. I'm more of a right-brain person. Excuses! Hahaha! Oh, yeah the jokes too. Even the corniest jokes can make you laugh especially when no one laughs when someone cracks a joke. Hahaha! Yeah, and our Tambay Committee. After-class Tambay Sessions at 7/11. We chill the day's stress away. Food trip, laugh trip... Don't you just love those Ningens? Hahaha! I love calling them ningen [human]. I remember someone asking me before, why ningen instead of people? I told him, People does not only refer to human because individuals/creatures that are part of a certain group like colonies, and flocks etc. are also called people but you cannot call other beings humans unless they're humans. I am right, right? You have no choice, you can't do anything. Hehehe...

Greeting came later than I expected. But at least they never forgot. Aww.. thank you, minna-san!

Yay, li'l party something-something later [umaga na eh!]. Oh, yeah! This would be fun and I hope I can make my guests happy too. And I hope that those I invited would come or else... Ditchers will die! Bwahaha!

OHAYOU GOZAIMASHITA!

Word Slap

2007-07-02T19:15:00.001+08:00

Achievement of the day: Making that Yaoi boy shut up. Hahaha. I yelled at him and I managed to shut him up at least for a short while. He's too annoying for his own good. Serves him right, I think I scared the others though [hounto ni sumimasen!]. My exact words were: Don't touch me. I don't like you. You're annoying me. I was shocked too. Didn't hold back, my tolerance just ran out. Seems like the core of his very existence is TO ANNOY beings other than himself. The others are just being NICE trying to tolerate him as much as they can but that's it.. Word vomit. It came so suddenly before I realized what I did. No, I'm not sorry. I just hope he'd be smart enough to start avoiding me so I want have to get more annoyed than I already am and I don't have to do the same thing all over again till he gets the sense of it. He caused me too much stress, good thing there was a cutter and a styrofoam to play with. I carved the words: Ningen, Evil, and L.

Yay, I bought my first book, the first book I ever bought that is not for school. I bought Phantom of the Opera from Book Sale from Scott's bazaar. Oh, and there was this booth that sells delicious dumplings [siomai]. Yay! Yay! I'll start reading it tonight.

Nothing much happened today other than the usual tambay we do. In a few days, exam na. What the?! We're doing doing this experiment something for PC Troubleshooting, and guess what? We have to buy our own experiment thingies. Makes me wonder where our tuition goes. I was like.. WTF? I have thesis [panels, editing, system] to pay for and I haven't even paid the whole sum of my tuition fee. Heck~

What now? Now what?

2007-07-02T18:50:00.000+08:00

Part of me, wants to take the world upon my shoulders
Part of me, wants to run around for four leaf clovers
How could it be, that I should want these totally different things

You see a part of me that's safe from harm
Can hear a future calling far away
I'm trying to say
That a change is coming, we both know
And I don't know which way to go, which way to go

Part of me is so in love
There's a fit between us like a glove
But we're so young with so much time
Waiting for tomorrow's rise
Part of me is so naive
I believe that we can stay this free
But deep inside I need to go
The world ahead is calling part of me

I remember all the joys and trouble we have been through
(Part of me) Wants to stick around to mend those broken wound
(We both know) Even though we fight, we're running out of time
The world goes on and despite our cry
To stop a moment, once before we die
You can't deny
That the earth is spinning round and round
And where it stops I will be found, I will be found

The earth is spinning round and round and round
And where it stops I will be found, I will be found

I feel a change is coming, we both know
And I don't know which way to go, which way to go...

- part.of.me.billy.crawford -

Don't get me wrong. I am happy [ haffyburdey , c'mon you have no idea ] but with all the excitement [excited? really now? haha, to think I was badly depressed a few days back and almost backed out] for that special day I feel something coming. Something from within me sings supernal peace like that kind of peace felt by someone who's about to die. I don't know. The beginning of the second decade of my LIFE seem to signal the end of another or maybe of the same life. I don't know. I don't feel the usual sadness and loneliness I feel during special occasions like Christmas and my birthday. Well, it's not like I can do anything about something that is meant to happen, right? I am a fatalist, so we'll leave it like that. Sabi nga ni Hagrid, we'll face it when it comes, or something like that. Hahaha!

It's a good thing I didn't join the others in making the bulletin board yesterday. Hahaha. Clue: Give away na yan: haffyburdey Wala lang. If I went to school I would not have been able to chat with in YM. I know he's not going to read this post so.. Ahoho! This is the time when people actually sing, "Happy na, birthday pa" La-la-la! Ahlavet!

I woke up this morning from a dream. A cute but weird dream. Guess who I dreamt of... I dreamt of Paul [Yes. You, Paul!] Ahaha... I'm not telling what the dream is about but as I've said. It's cute but WEIRD, hehe..

I'm not old; everybody else just happen to be younger. I could start interacting with everyone in the HF office but I'm confused. How should I address them? It doesn't feel right to call them ATEs and KUYAs because I'm older than most of the people there, even the EIC. Well, I have no problem with my fellow newbies since they're the ones calling me ATE and I don't really mind. Oh, well...

Pa'no ba yan... Count down na? Hajime!

2007-06-27T21:19:00.000+08:00

This is one of the few celebrity collages I made in MyHeritage.com. I've tried some of my photos and my brothers' too. So far, this has been the best result I got [look, it's Jang Geum!]. My, my... I am... flattered? Haha.. Who wouldn't be? Look, they're all so pretty! I belong! Bwahahaha! Gotta love the angle! Well, there were 10 celebrities but I chose the prettiest and I counted out the two other including Imelda Marcos. Yes, She was part of this set's result. Haha! But I've seen pictures of her from her younger years, I must say she is pretty but her prettiness had pretty much gone to her head and... [I'd like to thank myself for my hair and make-up and my closet for my outfit, you won't see me looking like that everyday... SUGOI! ]

So I had my first meeting today as an official Graphics Apprentice today. The office is so warm and cozy. They happen to be nice, friendly people after all [they don't bite, hehehe]. The KOWAI aura of the panel interview was gone. It was nothing like being with my new blockmates. Those ITs give away their real personalities without having to speak. To cut the story short, they're cold. I dunno want to end up badmouthing them, insignificant that they are for me, so I'll leave them be. Bwahaha! Maximum tolerance. I was told that I can start hanging out in the office but I just don't want to go there by myself, alone. The place is too warm [not hot >_<] it could get lonely. I know myself very well and I know how I easily get lonely. By the way the Literary editor gave me my first assignment [I am 3/4 Graphics and 1/4 Literary Apprentice, yeahehey!].

Even my friends can tell that I've been having a hard time. I went to our kubo/tambayan/booth yesterday afternoon after class looking... I dunno how I looked like but my friend knew something was wrong. My blood has reached boiling point, my brain became molten lava and I was ready to explode. No kidding. I wish it was something I could laugh at but looking like that kind of fool isn't my kind of humor. I am not built for programming, I cannot even create a single simple program, I take jokes about that weakness personally, you have no idea what kind of hell I have to go through during my programming subjects. A little more and I could explode. It's torture but I have to hold still for a while. I just need to pass or I'll be kicked out of HF before I can even say "Junior Staff". F***!!!

I was shocked when Andrew told me what happened to Chris Benoit and his family. It's been a while since I last watched wrestling and never had news since I don't read my WWE newsletter anymore. Apparently, he committed suicide after killing his wife and child. They are dead but I don't believe he could do such thing. I don't know the man but I believe his innocence and it's not clear yet why he did it. To Chris and his family, I know God is always with you wherever you are, † May you all rest in peace †

Yay, Jet Li's in the country! Heehee...

There's no stopping now; I'm applying for DMS and auditioning for LPB, got my forms already. Oh yeah! Adik-an na 'to! Bwahaha! Oh, and ILSFA too, though I haven't really paid my membership fee yet. Hehehe! Can't stop my Rock! Yosh!

Awww.. The guys [my tropa, the boys] are planning to go to Puerto Galera at the end of the month [July]. I want to go too but I have no money [O, hindeee!]. I just need P2500 and we'll be spending 3 days if I ever get to join them but... Where will I get that kind of money? Asar! My daily allowance is only P150, and I spend P50 for the fare back and forth, which leaves me with P100 and how on earth am I going to produce that sum in time for the trip. I've never been to Mindoro and Puerto Galera and I've been wanting to go out of town since summer. Nakakaiyak naman! *sigh* PAUUUTAAAAANG!!!

Alright, the Genshiken family is growing. Woohoo! Love it! I'm enjoying their company more and more and I get too attached I find it hard to leave. I have no plans of leaving but I love them so much that I can't seem to want to go somewhere else other than where they are. I go to class for a while, my mind flies to the time when I'll be hanging out with them again. Every moment not spent with them is like a class missed, a meal skipped, and a Friendster invitation rejected. Haha.. Ahlavet, don'tcha?

Man, am I busy or what? Or what? Hahaha..

master!
             apprentice!
                                heartborne!
                                                    7th seeker!
                                                                        warrior!
                                                                                      disciple!
                                                                                                    in me, the wishmaster!
                                                                                                                                            --fantasmic, nightwish

A GRRREATO Burrrning Day!

2007-06-23T22:56:00.000+08:00

KOWAI!!! It was very unnerving, [First meeting: scary!] I can't think straight. This aftertoon's panel interview was more like an interrogation than an interview. My friend said the interviewers would burn/cook me alive but what happened was that they didn't even bother to light a fire and start the burning... They ate me alive! Hehe, kidding. But really, I was dazed, too nervous to speak and answer all of the questions, one after the other, thrown at me. It felt like blood was rushing into brain and about to make my head explode. I don't think I have any chance. Good thing, after the interview I saw my Genshi-friends [Greg, Dan, Jason, Scott, Alain, Ryan, Jerome and Norman] at the CSO office and went to hang out in there for a while. I was so happy to see those faces. My stress-level went down a little but my head is already aching the moment I went out of the HF office but it was only then that I was able to breathe. I didn't stay long with the guys at CSO because it was hot in there that aggravated [whoa.. strong word, hehe...] my headache plus I didn't get enough sleep since I have to wake up early for the interview [and I was very sleepy] and I was the last one to be interviewed [I patiently sat at the recieving area for hours]. The waiting isn't really that bad since I had some new people to talk to, and make friends with and saw another friend [Paul] on my way going out of school. A'right! So I got home by 5pm. I went to whip up something to eat and went on to watch Honey and Clover. I went to check my cellphone and got the good news: I GOT IN! [Uhh.. Somehow?] Banzai! It was worth all the scare, the nervousness I got from the panel interview. Despite the blunders I circumstancially committed, I still got in. Wooooo! Gambare masu! And, oh, I think my new friends ["social circle" "extended network" hehe..] passed too: Shaira, Patrick, John Paul and that freshman from HUB that Shaira named "Pinkee" because he was wearing pink. We're having our orientation Wednesday this coming week. Oh, can't wait. But I don't think I'll be telling anyone else except those that already know, let them discover for themselves. It's not like I did a very good job anyway, or atleast not... Uhh... Nevermind.

Woohoo! Honey and Clover is KAWAII!

What's left to be worried about? Not to fail any of my subjects. I have another programming subject, VB.net and I still haven't taken the one that I failed, which is VB [and Physics 2]. Next up... My application for DMS and LPB and ILSFA. I know how expensive it is to be a mountaineer but I really [hounto ni, hounto ni] really want to climb a mountain for atleast once in my life. So I will do my best to be part of DMS. I said I want to prove something that's why I want to join the Pop Band right? I stand by my word and I'm not changing it. About ILSFA, I think I'm having second thoughts. Oh, and our thesis, and my birthday... Man, why did I ever tell my friends to come over? I want to back out! Hahaha.. Too many expenses without really having any money at hand. Yeah, my CosPlay too. What the- My head is swirling! I, so suddenly, want to back out on everything I work for, everything I want to work for, and things that are waiting for me to work on. I don't understand what's happening to me. This must be one of my usual Fight or Flight situations. Demons inside my head with sirens' voices, they're... I don't know... But... I can't make them stop...

I'll be alright... Maybe... When I wake up tomorrow... And as long as I have something, anything, anybody to hold on to... I'll be fine... I should be happy but I can feel something within me is breaking apart... Can't wait to be with my friends again... My BCS friends... My Genshiken friends... My former bandmates... My new friends... This year can possibly the last year they'll ever find me in good condition... All this time, I feel like I've only been delaying a nervous/mental breakdown and if I can't any longer I just might have to apologize to everyone and say goodbye... And don't be stupid, I'm not and never will be suicidal... Don't ever take me for an idiot like that... I'm just burning out... But I'm still fighting.. Sorry for the sudden mood change... And the ellipses, hehe...

Dear God, I know The Dolphin is watching over me while you're watching him. Thank him for me. I know someway, somehow you had him help me today. I'm really thankful and happy, di lang halata hehehe. He's done so much for me without him knowing it, and the others who have helped me in their own ways too, you know who they are. I know you're watching over them too. Please always keep them safe. I don't know what will happen to me without them. I'm keeping my promise, that one I'll write in his memory. Give me anough strength too so I could keep fighting for my sanity. You know very well how close I am to losing it. I think too much. Help me to trust others so I don't have to endure this ordeal alone. And please make HIM realize how I feel. Amen.

Yay, my first blog prayer. Hehe.. Oyasuminasai, minna-san!

[PS: Kowai = Scary while Kawaii = Cute]

Autumn in my Heart

2007-06-22T17:14:00.001+08:00

There's no way to stop what comes falling.

It maybe so, like how I could see myself falling, how I feel my soul falling apart and how I could hear the rain falling inside my heart.. But can't they really be stopped?

I could see myself falling... It's nothing new. I'm trying my best to get as close as I can get to him. I've only known him for a few months but I'm sure, I know and I believe that I really, really like him [though I still like Shiawase too]. I have this friend who likes him too and I'm starting to get jealous. I can see what she's been doing to draw him near and I'm afraid I will have to hate her if they end up together [She tries to look cute, friendly and innocent, and when the guy's into him she'll play it safe. I think that's how she does it and I find it dirty. Grrr!]. I'm falling, but I can't really say that I've fallen. I wanted to tell him [and I don't have anything against girls, like myself, being the first one to confess] but I'm scared. I can't read through him and I don't want to assume things unless he tells me the things I need to hear, be it good or bad. Rejection comes fast and easy but it leaves scars in the heart and stays there for a lifetime; No matter how friendship covers up the slightest traces, the hurt will still get you once in a while. I should know, I've been on that road before and it took me a while before I can free myself, take off and fly again.

I feel my soul falling apart... Graduation Day has been getting into my head too much. I've been emotionally strained about this since classes started. I've stayed in college for more than I should have. If I don't make it to the March 2008 Graduation and have to stay in college for the same course because I failed [I don't really mind staying longer if I'll be there for another course or maybe taking my Major] I may have to force my family to send me into a mental institution. Most people think it's just a matter of not working hard enough or not taking studies seriously, they think the expression "nosebleed" is just a funny expression, and do not understand how it feels to exceed your limit and almost die from stroke from it [F*** Programming! F***, Physics and the Mathematics that goes with it! F*** those teachers that always say, "You are expected to be /should be good at this and that because you're already on your 4th year or because they are good at it too]. Right now, I feel like standing at the edge of cliff with a bottomless pit below it [just like when Light felt like he's losing to L, imagines himself jumping off from a high platform to his death but stops in midair]. Right. That's it, I've already fallen off the edge and now I'm stuck in midair. I'm being sucked down the nothingness of the bottomless pit but something kept me floating. A part of me wants to stay fighting to keep myself together while the other just wants to give it up. My spirit particles are disintegrating, hehehe...

I could hear the rain falling inside my heart... Loneliness, sadness, uncertainty, doubts, jealousy, loathe. They're raining inside of me. I wanted to love but I keep fighting against the very thing that my heart cries out for. I don't understand myself right now.

By the way, I'm watching this cute anime right now, Honey and Clover. It's too kawaii, it's lovesickening! Awww.. *Clenches fist close to cheeks and goes googley-eyed*

Yay, the panel interview's tomorrow! I can't be late. I want this so bad, [why? refer to.. Blah!]! You have no idea. I'll pray hard so I can make it and do my best to be honest, sincere, and be whatever to convince those panelists that they should have me. But if I don't, I wouldn't feel so bad because I've made my resolve: If I get in, I will never fail to do what I'm supposed to do, if I don't I will never stop. i will join every contest I can join [like I always do] and keep doing what I love and doing what I do best. I can feel a good year coming ahead of me, it's the start of something new and it feels so right [so Highschool Musical, hehe]. And, oh, Love... Ah! It's in the air, can't you smell it? *sniff sniff*

GAMBARE MASU!

Back from the grave

2007-06-17T21:38:00.000+08:00

TADAIMA!

It's about time this blog rise from the dead. It's been a while, hasn't it? I feels like Akasha being brought back to life. It's not like I died or anything but I used to love this site better than I love my Multiply. Awww.. Man, that's so gay! Hahaha. Anyway, I'm officially back to Blogger and I'll be keeping this as alive as my Multiply. That'd be it for now, see you in my next post!

JAA!

On-leave

2007-02-28T11:16:00.000+08:00

I won't be blogging here for a while because my internet connection at home is too slow to open Blogger. But I will never stop. You can still read my posts and view some vids and pictures by checking out: http://levyeiva.multiply.com
Catch you there!
I'll be saying goodbye to blogger for now...

Genki desu ka?

2007-01-20T17:32:00.000+08:00

Since I can't import my Blogger posts to Multiply by cross-posting, I'll just paste it instead.

I already said this, that it's been a while since I last posted anything, but yeah, it's really been a while and a lot happened within the that short while. Let's see, I'll try to recall.

I spent the holidays with my cousins and I had a lot of fun, as always though there are times that they can be really annoying. I survived the holidays without money in my pocket. I had all the time in the world to think about a lot of things during the Christmas break. I was even able to rethink the things that's been pulling me down. As usual, I gained a lot of weight. Class resumed last January 3rd and, bukkirishita!, I was late. The internet's been slow since the earthquake in Taiwan and I hate how fast it runs.. How fast? Slow, so slow it feel like dial-up. I passed all my subjects except one, and somehow I anticipated it, I failed Physics. I'm too easy-going, laid-back, happy-go-lucky right now to take anything seriously like I do to some things from way back or the things that I usually do. I didn't win anything from the contests I joined last year, and I don't feel so bad. I still have one more year to make something out of my college life. I've found new friend with my co-otakus and I'm enjoying their company. And a lot has change and a lot more will.

Wow, I've been blogging for almost two years now. Has my writing improved? You tell me..

Got new crushes.. Yehey! One is older than I am. He's a musician like me and I think he's so cute. I only got to talk with him a few times and that was very short. Just like saying hi, and say some stuffs about this and that and that was it. I see him in school but I can't greet him simply because.. I don't know. I just can't. But I really like him. The other one is a year older. He's really nice and I get to talk to him alot. He's crushing on someone else, someone he's known longer than we've known each other but I don't mind. He's not what you call handsome but he's cute and his face is so sweet that I don't mind looking at him all day. I wish I can say their name so that they'll know if they happen to read this but.. I can't. Too risky, hehe.. Initials? Hehe.. Don't want to make it too obvious. *giggles*

Had our recollection last January 9th and somehow I had fun. Some issues were brought up and assumably fixed. Not the kind of fun that I would definitely have if I was with my BCS friends but I think I've had something worth remembering with the BITs. I already posted the pictures and, man, I'm sooo FAT! Most of my pictures from that reco is so embarrassing but I don't really mind sharing. I'm fat, what can I do? Diet? No way! Exercise? I'll try..

The day after the reco, I went to meet with the other members of my interest club in school. They are all nice. I love 'em. I know I've found new friends. It's laugh trip, ghost story trip and never ending fun with them. Well, most of them are younger than I am but, hey, I'm still a kid. Our greatest common factor: LOVE FOR ANIME. I'm off the loop and they've been loyalists but I enjoy being with them, so who cares? During the Lasallian days, I spent the whole days with them in our hut/booth. I enjoyed and never wanted to leave them, hehe.. We ate together and went home together. Being with them those few days, I've been so attached. I'll miss them because we I can't hangout with them that often especially now that I'll be busy with thesis. Darn, thesis!

Last Wednesday, I had my 2nd or 3rd KTS. Not sure. But this year's KTS performance was my best yet in the last few years that we've been performing. I was focused and it's the first time that I performed without being nervous. I was nervous before I went on stage and while we were preparing but when we began.. I transformed into a rockstar. Atleast that's what I think. I brought my friend Camille to watch and chill awhile during the show and she said the performance was good and so did the others that I asked about the show. I wished I had it record but.. I was too anxious I forgot. I'll try to get some pictures or videos from the organizers and some other sources I can get and I wish I get to share with you and show you.

Last night Stonefree rocked my world. Miro looked so cute on tv and handsome in person. I love him! They're, like, the first band I ever watched live. I think. There have been gigs of popular Pinoy bands in school but I never watched. [I've seen Rocksteddy in SM Mall of Asia last year but only by accident and I didn't really stop to watch. We just went past to eavesdrop and left immediately to explore MoA.] Last year they had Callalily, sayang, Keane their vocalist looked a lot like Ely Buendia I bet he's cute in person too. And the other year, they had Hale, and that time they weren't famous yet. In my 4 years in college, I've done so much but I missed out on a lot too. Now, I know better than to miss out on events like this. This year's Lasallian Days are a lot jam-packed than the past years that I had here in Dasma. More booths, more activities, and more friends.. I wish they'll get to top that next year.

By the way, I went to see some of our present and past professor make themselves look like fools while they were dancing during the College Day [the event was called Doobidoo] before that. I recorded a portion of the Physical Sciences Department's presentation focusing on Sir... Hehehe.. But I deleted it right away because I realized what waste of phone memory it will be. Hehe.

Money is still my problem but.. I'll survive.

I took a lot of pictures from this happy-busy week and I mean a lot. From fixing of the booth last Tuesday, CosPlay from Tuesday to Friday, Before and after our performance at KTS 9 [I took part in sending a love message from Patrick to Veronica, sweetness, eh?], After Carlo's party [we came late and beer was the only thing left, we had to buy food for ourselves 'cause they left already], oh, yeah, Reco pictures from days before that [actually that was mine and my friend's alone featuring every, almost all, beautiful scenes around Charles Huang], and a lot more of Miro and Stonefree pictures and videos. I'll post it as soon as I get to upload them.

I've grown up a lot during my four years in college and now I can say that I finally conquered my fear. This may sound funny but somehow I owe it to the philosopher that was Eminem. Before I went up the stage to perform and even days before that, his voice is playing in my head. It seemed like he was telling me, "LOSE YOURSELF IN THE MUSIC. THE MOMENT YOU WANT IT, YOU BETTER NEVER LET IT GO. YOU ONLY GOT ONE SHOT. DO NOT MISS YOUR CHANCE TO BLOW 'CAUSE OPPORTUNITY COMES ONCE IN A LIFETIME." And I took his advice and it worked. The STAND MY GROUND approach will now be put to execution. I realized how good my friend has been to me. She's been my friend since childhood and I am aware now how much I've been feeding on every friendly, loving, caring things she ever told me. I never thought it before but I've found a sister I've never had. My cousin Mae is like my daughter and Camille is like a sister. She's a soul sister. I've been drawing strength from her the first day we've met. She's been through the roughest times during our childhood but she never failed to commend me, to appreciate my giftedness, to encourage. What would I ever do without people like her? *sigh*

Yay! New shows on GMA for the New Year. I hope they're all good 'cause GMA 7 is the only channel we have left on our tv. 'Onga pala.. HOY, R.G. GALINGAN MO SA LUPIN. DI KA PA NAMAN MAGALING UMARTE LALO NANG HINDI KA MAGALING NA KOMEDYANTE. AYUSIN MO! BAKA MAGALIT LUPIN FANS SA'YO DAHIL BAKA JUMOLOGS YAN GAYA NG SUGO AT CB. OKAY? SANA LANG MABASA MO 'TO. HAHAHA!

Okay, okay. Got to go now. This post's too long already so..

Babayoooo!

This Life

2007-01-17T23:57:00.000+08:00

It's been quite a while since I wrote anything except for lectures and some school works and since then.. A lot has happened. Internet has been faster than a speeding turtle since the earthquake. I wanted to write a lot of things today but it's late and I'm on the phone with a friend. I will be back again..

....................

Good Morning!

Resolution

2006-12-31T21:29:00.000+08:00

Last Thursday I woke to the longest, adventured-packed dream I ever had. If I remember it right, it began with something that involved some of the cast of EK3. Yeah, seriously. They were my special guest in my very special dream. Then the next scene was inside my room with gays wearing colorful dresses with colorful fans conversing with me; we were making fun of something. Then I went out of my room straight to the kitchen with a possessed faucet. It wasn't our kitchen but looked something like my friend's kitchen. The faucet was possessed because it talked and would change temperature at will then I called out to Sakura [Card Captor] to exorcise the faucet but couldn't so she calls out to Sailor Venus who does the job. Then there was this toilet hanging at the wall like a wall fan and I was holding a dustpan then I went out of the house where there were animals. I was going to our neighbor's house and on the way, the road was wet, and I used the dustpan to take some water from the wet road and threw it to the animals I saw. Then they started following me. Before I got to where I was going, those animals were already after me so I had to run back home. They followed me home. Some of them were already inside and I was hiding at the back of our house. My mom covered a moose, and a bear [that folloed me] with a blanket and led it to one of our rooms. I went back into our house to check on the other animals that were after me and they were still there but they didn't see me except for this little brown talking monkey who ran to me right away and I ran into my room to hide. Darn, that part with the minkey scared me to death. I don't know why. What he was saying scared me but I didn't really understand because it seemed like some alien language. I woke up immediately and slept back again. Another dream followed but I can't remember. But it was good. Weird, but good.

I had another wonderful dream the next day but I can't remember though I hadn't really been sleeping so well. I have been if the case is how long I sleep but my sleeping pattern is rather not so good since I'm awake all night and would wake up the next day at noon.

After the earthquake in Taiwan a few days ago, the internet has been so f*cked up. F*ck that earthquake. I want some tsunami! Haha, go tsunami! Kill 'em! Grrr..

I had a very meaningful chat with a friend last night. I wanted to be purely hionest but at some point I had to lie because.. Let's just put it this way.. Gomen ne sunao ja nakuta, yume no nakanara ieru... Yeah, if you can understand what that means, you'll know what I'm trying to say. It's just not me to say what I feel or be fully honest about things like that. I don't wanna lie but I'm not really sorry for what I did. I just did what I thought was right, atleast for me.

The year ends and beginds in a few hours and.. Time for the tiger to eat the pig! I was born in the year of the Fire Tiger and the coming year is the year of the Fire Pig. Chinese horoscope says that this will be a good year for me. I hope so, really hope so.

I know I have to say goodbye to this year and I think it's just about time. I have lost so much and gained so much too, most of which is weight. I just have to, I need to and I want to change. I've been feeling like a lsoer for so long now, and if you've been reading my posts for the past year, it'd be no big secret. I let everything get me and bring me down. It made me weak and stopped me from standing my ground, and somehow I lost it. I wanted to win it back and I have to gain back my momentum in order to win my place back. I'm not really thinking of getting it back, it's more like I wanted to claim another ground for myself and make a kingdom out of it.. I am a fire tiger and I can burn all the negativites away and start another kingdom of fire. Rekka Shinnen! Bwahaha! More like hell, right? Haha, I had the wrong metaphor. Nevermind. Anyway, about the losses I had, I almost lost confidence in the very first talent I discovered and nurtured, drawing. That's like the worst thing that this year had done to me. I've been rediscovering myself everyday, and the world seems to close in on me and pull me down. Some mysterious force pushes me back up but they're just too strong and I'm near to losing. I just gotta keep on fighting and survive.. STARSTRUCK! Hahaha! Nah, but seriously..

HAPPY NEW YEAR, ONE AND ALL!

Can't wait to get back to school and grab the second book of the trilogy I was reading, His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman. I'm already done reading The Golden Compass before the exams but they don't allow borrowing during Christmas break so I didn't get to borrow the The Subtle Knife then The Amber Spyglass then.. I will become Lyra Belacqua. Hehe..

I am having fun with my otaku/anime addict friends. It's so good to know people with the same interest as yours, isn't it? Wala lang, I still love my friends but I'm just glad I made new friends. They make me think of my future collection, can't wait to buy them, Weeeeee!!!

I am so running out of things to write, so maybe I should stop for now. It's really nice that some people actually takes time to read my blog..

THANK YOU!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! GOD BLESS US ALL!!!

Holiday

2006-12-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

Number 1! Number 1! Number 1!

Oh, yeah! I went to watch Enteng Kabisote 3 and I wasn't surprised that it the cinema was a Standing Room [please excuse the grammar]. I love watching movies on Christmas day because seeing so many people is fun [atleadt for me] except for some things that happened today. On my way to SM, I rode a trike to Imus. I love taking the backride so I did then there was this guy with "icky-looking skin" beside me. I tried my best to avoid him by clinging tightly to the other side of the trike, since he was seated between me and the driver but he would still, somehow, bump me. Not that he's too contemptible but if you've seen him, you would not want to get near him too. I mean, I'm not sure if it was scabies or dried chicken pox scars on his skin and skin germs are so easy to pass and catch. Nevermind.. Okay.. Now went I got to the SM Cinemas, I had to walk a few times back and forth looking for the ticket booth. The third floor was full of people and it took me some minutes before I had my turn to buy my ticket. I don't really mind having to watch the movie standing up for two hours but then.. I was standing at the stairs that lead to the balcony when someone stood behind me. That was really nothing until I can feel something from behind. I felt something slowly rubbing at the left side of my behind. I have no idea what that was and I don't think I wanna know because that really disgusted me so even if my position was already fine I decided to move away and find another place inside the cinema to watch. After a few seconds when I left that man went away to and left the cinema. So it's obvious.. That f'n perverted man! Grrr.. Experiences like this makes me wary of the human male species. Well, my friends [boys] are not like that but I still cannot understand the reason for the existence of such behavior whether male or female. Two words: REALLY DISGUSTING! I was really glad when I found this nice seat in the balcony, the aisle. At first there was this annoying old woman who sat at the armpiece of the seat beside me and carried a child on her lap whose shoes are hitting my back and somehow pulling my hair but it's not so long till they found an seat and went there.

EK3 rocks! I loved that gay ogre with Shintaro Gokuyami, KC, Ta-KCs-Castle, hahaha! The graphics is superb! Now my want to be a graphic artist is stronger [ehem.. excuse the graphics again.. please..].

Anyway, Christmas eve [last night] wasn't so jolly when everybody says it should be. It can't be when someone's throwing their frustrations at you. Some stuffs can't be helped and we can't always keep things from happening but do I really have to be the one to always catch it all? They make me feel sorry for being the way I am, inducing self-pity. I'm getting really sick of this kind of life. One less thing to celebrate. Well, I'm always sad during the holidays [Christmas and New Year]. I don't know, something about this season makes me sad. That's actually the reason why I went to the cinema alone. I could've invited a friend to come with me but I needed some time alone. I just wish I could be happier, Merry as the greeting say..

Merry?.. Christmas..

Nothing Much

2006-12-23T18:55:00.000+08:00

I hate my typos. My English becomes a disaster.

Yesterday, Camille and I went mall-hopping. She's, like, the oldest friend I've ever had. We've been friends since gradeschool. We went for an Anime Scavenger Hunt. We didn't get to really buy anything big since neither of us brought that much money. Our hunt brought us from SM Bacoor to SM Southmall to Festival Supermall and back to Lotus. Something about that day excited me.. I finally found a Ceres DVD and I'm definitely coming back for it. I'm starting, hopefully, a loading business soon, and waiting for my cousin's payment I'm making for her dance group, and I'm still waiting for the results of the other contests I joined [sana I won kahit isa lang.].

About the book I'm planning to write, so many ideas coming out here and there. I just hope it turns out to be a good one.

Fushigi Yuugi is still shown in Animax but too bad it's already been weeks since our cable's been cut and even if it isn't.. we're not subscribed to Animax. Kainis.

I'd like to thank, whoever you are, the one reading my blog from California.

One more night before Christmas Eve and I have nothing much to write. I guess that'd be it for now.

Four Deaths Before Christmas

2006-12-19T13:31:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, our four newly-born [read: barely a week old] kittens were deliberately killed by a male cat. That's one fact of life in the animal world that I don't understand. Male animals would usually kill youngs so they could get the females to mate again. In the human world, as much as I want to believe it, humans mate out of love so they can leave descendants and life can survive [I didn't learn that by myself, I read it from Ceres. Hehe..] while animals seems to programmed to survive and mate as much as they can. Life can be tough when you're an animal [even for domesticated cats] but then again, how am I to know? The circle of life turns and the innocent is always the victim.

The time I turn off this computer, I'll be starting to write the book I've been planning to write for so long now. When I get to finish, I'll be giving copies to some close friends and try to get it published. No teasers just yet.

I finished my shopping yesterday though it isn't that much. I usually get tired easily but yesterday was just fine. Except for that old man who sat beside me inside the jeep. He smells like that oil used to relieve body pains. Ewwweey! Anyway, I saw Normel, JC and Oche while I was scouring boutiques to buy my clothes. I had a hard time choosing my pants since all I can see were jeans and I'm so not wearing jeans ever again. I wanted to buy another top but I just don't like the fad these days like that top that is so long it goes down up to your thighs. Before I went to SM, I already bought my blouse from CD Jeans and it's discounted. Haha, LAHVET!

Wala lang, I just visited the Penshoppe website and saw Victor and could imagine that if Tooya [Ayashi no Ceres] was real, they would have the same sexy body and pretty hair though Victor's is black while Tooya's is fashionably reddish-black. I am such a crazy kid wishing an anime/manga character was a real person. Haay..

That'd be it for now. Merry Christmas, everyone!

2 Parties in 2 Days

2006-12-18T21:22:00.000+08:00

Forgive me for being lazy. I just like being one. Been busy from last week being exam week then two parties two days after. I believe I failed some of my exams and I don't really mind because.. Wala. I just don't.

Thursday at Erika's. Man, that was fun. I didn't really think I'd enjoy and I even planned on not coming but I'm glad I did. The food was good [hamonado, my fave chopsuey, sweet and sour, lumpia..] plus the laughs we had was delightful. I had a few drinks and we went home by 6pm. I think the others stayed till dawn and gotten themselves drunk. Then Friday, I wen to meet Alvin and the others at Robinson's so we could go together to Renan's. Mike gave us a ride. Ayen and the others came earlier. The other came after 6pm. We waited for the others before we could start to drink and Renan was busy running back and forth to entertain his guests and I bet that was tiring. Man, the food was very, very good especially that one in white sauce which is his mom's specialty. There was joking and laughing all around and we were very noisy. They were trying to get Jerome drunk. Micoi was the official photographer since he's the only one who brought a digicam. After drinking, we rested and went to the fair[perya] at Dasma by 1am. We went back at Renan's and sleptover though I didn't really get to sleep. And then we ate breakfast in the morning before we left and went home.

Sayang. I was planning to bring my friend, Camille, at the party but she was busy with their thesis but she really wanted to come and I wanted her to meet my friends. Di bale, next time na lang. So, that's just about how my past days were.

Till next post na lang!

Awhile

2006-12-11T18:35:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I last wrote anything. So much had happened and I'm just feeling lazy. Let's see.. SInce classes started last November I've already finished 3 books, all varying in length and thickness. There was By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho, Confessions of a Mask by Yukio Mishima, and His Dark Materials Book 1: The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman. Nicey. These books had so far been inspirational, magical, and.. I don't know. I just loved it. I need those books with me. Time goes so slow when you're doing nothing esp. when you're doing nothing and you'd have to wait for hours till your next class.. Bummer!

I've completed downloading the Ceres Art Book and also finished reading the scanlations I downloaded. I wanted the real thing but that'd do for now since I don't have it yet because of... Blah! Blah! Nevermind.

It's been a while since the cable's been cut and I've already missed out a lot on my fave show like Hanna Montana and the new season of Dark Oracle. I don't miss it that much though since I've learned to let go and this isn't really the first time. Things just happen and not preventing it cannot be prevented. I have no choice. This is my life.

Exams have started and my nose just finished bleeding after Physics. 2 down and 3 to go. I hope I pass. I don't need a high grade. Just make me pass.. Ohh..

Nakakainis ang ganitong buhay...

2006-11-26T14:14:00.000+08:00

'lang 'yang buhay 'yan... Wala na namang cable. Nakakasawa ang gan'tong buhay. Sana mayaman na lang ako...

This darn fact makes me freaking sick. I wish I had so much more. I know I will, but why can't I have it now when I want it. Buti, oppotunities present themselves to me so I can somehow get some of the little things I want. My heart is happy but at the same time discontented. I usually get tired of routines and I somehow find to alter the usual things I have to deal with but this one... I can do nothing but wait. I remember a teaching in Buddhism that says something like material wants is what makes people suffer and they are right but I just can't find the heart to deny myself of these wants. It gives us a certain kind of pain when we crave for something but when we get to have it, it somehow becomes a piece of the puzzle that someday, when we get everything we want, makes us complete. I don't know. I just can't help but think how I've been living the same way of life for the last 20 years and how the situations gets more and more dissatisfying every single day. Ok, I'm lucky to be able to eat anything I want, spoil myself sometimes but I just can't get enough. Some people have nothing AT ALL and compared to them, they may think I have everything and more of what they could have wanted but I'm just too self-centered right now to think of other people. And I can't give what I don't have, the satisfaction of having just enough.

Anyway, school's, as always, fine except for Physics which is and always will be a pain in the you-know-what. Chances are coming one after the other, and I hope I'm doing the right thing of making every chance an opportunity. Time's running so fast and in a few weeks, it'll be Christmas break, BAKASYON NA NAMAN!, but of course EXAM MUNA. Wishlist, wishlist. I can have my grandparents to buy me the stuffs I want but.. but... If only I was born a sweet child, that which we call MALAMBING in Filipino, maybe I can have my way. I wasn't born as thick-skinned as my brothers, and not as malambing, sipsip and charing as my cousins. Aw-aw-aw! I wasn't even born to be confident. Nobody taught me that. Kung bibo lang sana ako... Wehehe! parang tanga. Hahaha! Intsek? Intsekure? Hehehe. No way! Naawa lang ako sa sarili ko.

Things could have been so much better and I could have had a lot more...

Angsty Rant

2006-11-18T13:15:00.000+08:00

We all have our own set of feelings. It may all be the same feelings but comes differently to different people. I know how I feel about feelings when I feel it but I don't know how it feels like to other people hen they feel it. I claim to know it all but the truth is, I just assume that I know. Realizing how I've been for the last ten years, I've been self-centered. I cared genuinely for the people I cared for with all sincerity I can give but my priority's always been myself. I don't know. There's just so much I want to get out of life and most of the time I just had to do things myself to get it and the people around aren't always of great or not even any help. It made me independent in my own sense, a bit untrusting, and insensitive. It's not always bad but not always good either. It messes with me, my personality and my feelings, and how I interact with people, but it makes me different. Haha. Why am I saying this? Well, I just want to sympathize with the people who didn't get to see the world the way I did. At 20, I still haven't seen a lot but the very little that I've seen was shown to me by the world and my fate in a different light like a work of art; Different colors, different media, different lightings, different techniques, different angles, different expressions. You learn to appreciate beauty and make an art yourself.

Well, well. I guess that's not bitin anymore. Aw-aw! Hehe.

Christmas time is coming... my wishlist is getting longer but... You have to know what the real problem here is... Clue? It's made of special kind of paper, printed with a special kind of ink, and the other form is made of some metals. It's so unfair having to think that the people who has "it" and has more than they need just don't appreciate it and throw it some place. I wish I get to have the same kind of privilege but I can only wish. Nothing else. I wasn't born with that lifestyle but maybe if I work hard, I, too, can live the "life". Another thing annoying me right now... Those you think are less deserving gets to realize your dream earlier than you can. Seems like this is how close I can get for now from living my fantasies. Envy? Not really. I just don't understand why others have to have that much already early in their life and I don't. People younger than me have gone so much further than I already have. Makes me sick of this ordinary life. I think, I believe, I know I deserve better, there's a lot of so-much-better things.

I just wish I so much more that I already have, and things get a lot better than this. I just wish.

Ano nah?!

2006-11-16T17:54:00.000+08:00

It's really fun having old friends around but good things must come to an end, like all the hanging out. We could still hang out but not as often as we do now in college. It's good that they took their back subjects with my present class. We had a really good time this afternoon, everybody was talking s**t and I was LMAO! Haha. Man, I'll miss these moments.

Ah! Even Westerners [Europeans and Americans] love Anime, mangas, and CosPlay. I wanna be in a CosPlay too but I have no costume, no whatsoever yet. Nothing. And I don't even know which Anime I want to portray. Darn. Inggit ako!

Been sick for two night, Tuesday and Wednesday. Wala lang.

Ok, this is so annoying. A few minutes ago, I had so much to write and now everything just slipped. I'm back to my same old cluelessness. Darn. Darn.

I remembered something. That darn Physics.. Imagine. Nose bleeding and eyes twitching. Numbers, Xs, Ys, Greek letters, mathematical symbols, and more numbers are eye sores.

the usual

2006-11-10T22:46:00.000+08:00

The love grows stronger, my heart cries harder... I want to go Japan! Anime is the life. Man, even in my sleep I see anime. Aww...

I rocked in Halflife! It was the first time in years that I played Counter-Strike last Thursday and it's really fun playing it with friends. I didn't get to kill that much but I was dang good. Haha. I suck at DotA but I rule CS. Beat that! Hehe.

I can't lie. I'm happy at the same time I'm not. I can't elaborate. I'm not being evil, just don't know where to place my heart. Gomen ne.

Back to school!

2006-11-05T21:36:00.000+08:00

I haven't written anything in a while but actually there is and was so much to write. Just can't find the write words and it may not be enough and I might run out ending up in another Bitin post. Haha, excuses? Yeah. I am feeling kind of lazy but I've been busy the past few days window-shopping online. Anime is the life! I just have to have it! I do have to save for it, and try my best to scour Manila so I can buy all those anime stuffs I've been drooling on or have my friend, who currently lives in Japan, find it for me, or if all else fails I would have to buy it online though it's way more expensive if I get to buy it here or in Japan. I want to cry. I was earlier joking with my friend about having to migrate to Japan but I really want to. I wish I can go to Japan. It's anime-heaven there. I can go to Japan but not now. Maybe after I graduate. Oh, why can't it be now. I wish they'd send me to japan instead of Germany. Aw, aw.

Semestral break is officially over and I'll be back in school tomorrow. Man, it'll be back to work for me. Aw-aw-aw!

Yay! I love YouTube! I get to finish whole seasons of Ayashi No Ceres and Fushigi Yuugi, the 3 Sailor Moon Movies, and the 3 FY OVAs. Unfortunately, for most of the time I had to depend on reading the subtitles because the speakers still aren't fixed yet. I prefer the animes in Japanese but I prefer hearing it in Japanese while I read the subtitles. It feels dumb to watch and just read without having to hear anything. Aw. Now, I wanting those anime vids more and more. And, oh, I want the mangas too. Oh.. And posters.. Oh.. And cards.. Oh..

Finding Moon Kingdom

2006-10-21T23:05:00.000+08:00

We all have to grow up and he left so he could grow even more more but I can still imagine 5 microphones on stage. BSB will never be the same without Kevin but I believe that though they're one man less, they'll always be the Backstreet Boys I loved and grew up with. I still remember the days that I built my dreams around them, hoping someday I get to perform on stage with all five of them. He may have gone his separate way but I will never love them any less than I used to.I still need you, I still care about you..

I feel like a kid again. Actually, I still am a kid. Some of the things I thought I've forgotten are coming back to me one piece at a time. I'm starting to miss how I used to love Sailor Moon, how I wish to find my own Tuxedo Mask/Mamoru Chiba, and all that fantastic powers. I used to have this collection of Sailormoon paperdolls and cards, and I love drawing her a lot. I even tried to figure out how to throw my hair into pigtails like hers. Haha. I was obsessing on her and the other Sailor Soldiers. Now, I'm starting to love her all over again. I'm thinking of buying videos so I can watch it all again. When you're growing, you tend to forget the things that makes you happy when you were a child. They're not always real but they keep you alive. My world of fantasies is my Neverland. I was the Moon Princess. Then it reminded me, why can't I be a child again? I have changed a lot on the outside over the years but there still survives a seven-year-old child within me. Like the rest of the things I had in my memory, she never died but has fallen into a long slumber. After a decade, she's woken and like all children she has to be nurtured and cared for. Yay me!

Haha.. okay that was bitin. I'm just so running out of ideas tonight. So.. deal with it!

The plane has landed. They're here and it was a blast. I just wished I watched. Haha. WWE Raw then now Smackdown.. I've been missing on a lot. I'll just check tomorrow for uploads on the on last night's show. Aw..

I feel like staying up all night tonight. The night creature in me is not sleepy yet and has a lot of things in mind. Ta-tuh!