It's a weird world!

Haha... I got Matt's account suspended. Sorry, Matt. I already removed my radio blog because I was getting sick of hearing the same song and that's what started the whole thing.

I've been in school for 3 weeks now and I'm so busy of doing nothing. I also had this sickness with a new classmate that gives me that 'sticky feel'. I don't like him... that's all! School was not yet that tough. But I miss the guys at BCS31. I onle get to hang out with them at Rotonda on Tuesdays and Thursdays 'cause out schedules don't match. Sigh!

I'm now a regular poster at iGma.tv forum's & PEx's Cogie Domingo thread. I got new photos to add up to my collection. I started my Cogie blog but had to delete it because I changed my mind. I also made a gallery of Cogie pictures which was hosted by ImagePop.com but again I changed my mind. I'm being selfish again. I didn't wanna share. I'm so sorry, Peopz! It's so hard to reach for that distant star I'm wishing on but I know I'm not the only one wishing on that same star.

I woke up to a weird dream this morning. I was with this old lady and Vittorio Mari (otherwise known as Oyo Boy) and a something liquid like a perfume, not sure though. And the woman dabbed some of the liquid on my lips and on hers. And I had to pass it to him by the lips. The part that made it weird was he kissed me twice on the lips. That wasn't the first time that I dreamt of him. I find it queer 'cause it is Cogie that I wish to dream of; I always pray that I might meet him in his dreams and let him know that I exist and tell him what I feel. Is that a good or a bad sign? Oyo isn't approving my friendster invite yet. Maybe he denied it. Sigh!

Yay! Thank God for my tita Cris! I already have my copy of BsB's Never Gone Dual CD album. The caption under my photo was from one of the songs I liked from the album, I Still. They sure matured a lot. All of their songs are in the Rock genre. I got a copy of the line up of songs and some of them are missing form the Asian released. I wish I can find them on the net when I drop by Renan's place to burn some CDs or maybe have Andrew burn me some CDs. Speaking of Andrew, he has a new business. And I think that's good. He sent me a message in Friendster and I think that's weird that he's saying sorry for not talking to me last week like we used to. I think that's cute but not really something to be sorry. I don't really mind 'cause I understand. Thanks anyway, dude!

There was something I realized this week. I look good wearing white. Haha! I think I look cute. I love the photo I posted below. Haha!

... I keep coming back and I'm stuck in a moment that wasn't meant to last...

:-)

Uhm... Nothin' really! I'm just really feeling lazy to blog. Haaayyy...

If you could only see...

Maybe it's obsession but this is my confession...

Taking Over Me

I believe in you.

I'd give up everything just to find you.

I have to be with you, to live, to breathe...

You're taking over me

Still in search of/ for Cogie. I'm thinking very hard on how I can find him. I can talk to Ala Paredes by posting some comments on her blog. Or I can look for Bev's friends, particularly Joseph (her ex, who happens to be a friend of Iya Villania, Oyo Boy Sotto's ex-girlfriend and most probably be a friend of his [Cogie]) and Miggy (a special friend of hers). I remember Joseph was supposed to join Click but Bev didn't want him too and Miggy has a lot of influence, and I'm sure he can find a way. Hmm... but they probably don't remember me. I only met them once (thanks to Bev, I'm going places, literally). Both of them are nice but I believe the have some issues between them. I surfed through some blogs and guess what I have found. There was this 'Purple Chaste' who had a date with Cogie at ATC, this guy at one forum who sent his friend a message about Cogie going to the same place where they play (I think it's Counter Strike), and some blogs about the movies he made and what they thought of them and those who meet him along the road, maybe at the same cafe and one person who was a participant at an event they had in Penshoppe. My, my...

The stars told me I'm doing the right thing and I should head on and continue but I need help! And read: BADLY! I pray Fonzie changes his mind and decides to help me. Sigh! Sigh!

I'm fixing my Cogie scrapbook because I got new pictures from a Cogie site and added them to my collection. I'll be having them printed once I have enough money. So I have to go back to school and save. I already have the addresses of GMA Network, Regal Films and Cogie's Management Agency. I'm really excited to pull off my plans for this year. I'm darn smoking!

My aunt's coming home tomorrow from the states for my Grandpa's Pasiyam. That excites me too because something good happens whenever she comes, financially speaking. She's really generous and generosity will help me a lot this time of the year...

It's late again. The sun's gonna shine on me as I try really hard to fall asleep. I have sleeping problems again like the first few weeks of Summer classes...

My, oh, my!

Focus and Steady & Armed and Dangerous

I just got back from school to get a new ID. I saw Amor at the Administration building. We talked about a lot of things, and people, the past year and the incoming school year, that includes our plans. I told him that I'm cooking up something good for the future and how focus has taken over me. I needed to make plans work for me this year. It was of good help that I'm reading The Alchemist all over again. It helped me realize that you can always make your dreams come true now, no matter what your age is, where you are; the future is now and it's in your hands.

This flooding things getting in to my nerves and makes me sick to my stomach thinking how people get the guts to flood the same stupid things. Haha! I already deleted the stupid guy. I don't really know him so I didn't mind removing him from my list. He's really annoying. Good thing I had a good forecast in Friendster Horoscopes. I feel it in my blood. It's a good omen. I know I'm on the right track and plans will fall in place just as I like it. I'm praying for it every night and so I hope my friends will pray for me too. (Help me, God!)

The finest I've got, so far.

At zero gravity...

Have gone from earth for some time now. My mind's been floating in space for ages in a week. I've been wanting to do things but I can't concentrate. Distractions are everywhere. Hell! I can't wait to get back to school. Stuffs are filed in my head but I'm too disturbed to manage anyything. I often get a time to get some things done but the time is very short or (again) distractions are always (never misses) there to do their stuff before you can even start having yours done. Makes me sick all the time. How many darn times do I hell have to get through the freakin' same stupid thing? My moods are shifting deliberately because of so-unwanted random circumstances (thank you, Rivermaya for the phrase). Things really are doing fine, yes they truly are and I'm so thankful but still I'm not so happy as I wanted to be. That was supposed to be posted a couple of weeks ago. Hmp! It's only now that I'm getting too serious about this whole blogging thing. I'm more focused now than I was the past year. I'm steadily aiming for the realization of my plans this year. It's quite big and ambitious but all good. If I put my heart and mind into it, I know I will succeed; and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. Someone from my past is making his way back to my heart. Pity me. I can't sleep because of Cogie Domingo. I've been looking for him allover the net and I'm not so satisfied with the results. I found a few articles and photos but nothing official like a blog or a site. The days when I lie awake and dream of him, pretend he's just beside me, having a little chat and stuff, is back. Now, I have the same problem I had when I first had it back in highschool: how to meet Cogie. I was surfing earlier when I found this site (blagabag.blogspot.com) and the girl who owns the site has this 'Tita Ninang' who is the godmother of Cogie and even asked him to give the girl a picture. Sigh! I wish that girl was my bestfriend. Huh... (deep sigh!) I tried asking Renz if he knew anyone who knows Cogie personally. He suggested names like Gabby Valenciano (son of Gary Valenciano and a friend of his) but has no contact with him anymore. Then I asked Alfonzo Martinez (son of Albert Martinez, a friend of Renz and Beverly). Fonzie (Alfonzo's nick name) said he knows Cogie but cannot help me. Sigh! Sigh! Sigh! But still I'm not running out of hopes. Moments of silence. The phone rang and being the only person awake I answered the phone. It was my aunt (my dad's sister) from the US. He called my father to ask about their father. The phone is just behind me and I had no choice but hear their conversation. Their oldman's gone. I believe she's crying on the phone. Rest in peace, Opa! I only met him once when my aunt (same aunt) visited us, a couple of years back but I know they love him (there is a long story behind this line, trust me). Friends, please pray for his soul... † May eternal light shine upon you, Maximo Serdoncillo

Falling Again

Whoa! For the first time in almost two years, I went back to Lucena. The place didn't change much except for a lot of new faces, lot of new homes and trees that grew a lot since I was gone. I got to hang out with Jobelle, my highschool bestfriend, and know her more. She's more liberal than I ever thought. We're totally different and have definitely different views on things. But I think that's good because she is just being true to herself not like those pretentious freaks I know. I also had an opportunity to talk to an old special friend. It was good that we went by good, just like before and like nothing changed.

Finally, I have my own radio blog. Thank God for Matt, who helped in my search for a server but found none so he had no choice but host my blog. I never thought he'd do me such big favor. That's big for me, I dunno 'bout you [Yes, you, reader!]. I want to add up some more song maybe some other time because I'm too lazy to convert mp3s today.

Sigh! Sigh! I suddenly felt this desperation of wanting to meet Cogie Domingo in person. I hardly remember when I last felt this but I've been crushing on Cogie since highschool. I tried to search him on friendster but a lot of 'cogies' appeared. I tried asking Renz if he knows anyone who knows him but he doesn't know anyone. He suggested Gabby Valenciano, who is a friend of his but had no contact with him. But even if he does, I doubt it if he'll have any connection with Cogie. I searched Yahoo for sites but no official site. What if I make a site for him just like the site Renan made for Kyla? But I can't yet until I meet him personally. I just need to see him in person and greet him and I will be the happiest girl alive. I need to see him. Waaaah!

I don't really understand what is in him and why I love him so. I just do. I share him with a thousand girls though he isn't really mine. I just love staring at his face, his eyes, running the cursor over his face as if him my hands were touching his face and as if he's really there. I'm not obsessed, just in-love and there's nothing you [All of you!] can do about it. My friends think it's funny, I'm funny but... Uh, like I care?! I just love what I'm feeling. Help me, anybody. If you know this guy, tell me ok? Thanks!!!

I wish for you on a falling star, wondering where you are... Will I ever cross your mind?