wait and see

Sad news: COGIE IS NO LONGER WITH PENSHOPPE. I'm not sure yet since I just got the information second hand but apparently, the reason is just because he's already 21. Well, he's not yet but since he's turning 21 this year even if it's still on August, technically he's 21. *pouts* I'm running out of reason to support Penshoppe. Don't get me wrong, I love Penshoppe but I wouldn't even know about Penshoppe if it wasn't for him. Haaay! Add to that, I'm not feeling so good today 'cause I'm having cramps and colds, I've been sneezing endlessly and my eyes are watery.. Heck! The odds of meeting him are lessened. There'll be no more use bugging DMB about him. Nothing new on iGMA.tv either. I guess, like most of the things I have in mind, it'll have to wait.

AJ's hair is thickening! Yay! He's not so panot anymore. Hahaha! Though his hairline is still rising up to his head. Long live AJ's hair!

I was wrong. I shouldn't have compared the primates to humans. The monkeys do not deserve such cruelty. I think it's only proper to apologize to all living primate species in the world. I hope they forgive me. Haha! That was pathetic but I MEANT IT. Wahaha! Remembering THOSE humans acting like animals, they would have deserved to be poached and killed relentlessly and I was going to. Like when I was going to write something about my highschool nemeses but such hideous creatures are not worthy of recognition, and remembering them will be like doing so. I'll just see them in our highschool reunion a couple of years for now and I wouldn't wanna miss hearing their success stories. But I will have my way on getting back at them. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold and they will get it. But until then...


Aldred Marc Gatchalian

This is my favorite PBB Teen Housemate; he's cute, he's smart and he's a crybaby! Aww! He's got a soft character and I can tell. Also he cooks well but sadly, the house seems to be too much for him to bear. He's making a voluntary exit this Sunday. Sayang! But of course, no one else can ever take Cogie's place. Mishew, Cogz!

What happens next? Dunno! No idea! I guess we'll all have to... See the title. Ahaha!

can't wait

All good things must come to an end, so they say. This is Encantadia and Kim Sam Soon's last week. New shows coming up on GMA. Can't wait to see the Love of the Condor Heroes and Emperor of the Sea. Haay... Wala lang!

Still no sign of Cogie... Earth calling Cogie... Are you there?

I have read Renan's blog, and got myself Google Earth, perfect for espionage. Haha! I just can't get the hang of locating my exact location and... I give up for now. I'll ask for help when I see Renan. Pft!

Shaun posted new pictures in his Friendster and they were all yellow! Ahahaha! And I thought my room has poor lighting conditions. Nice one, Shaunney!

I got a 2.25 in Stat for Midterms. And I won't be doing that Final Project, it's not included in the final grade anyway, it's just for additional grade and I won't be needing it 'cause I'm sure I'll pass even if I fail the Final Exam. Got the spirit, you know.

Sleep, day or night, gives me weird dreams. Good but weird. I cannot comprehend and it's not making any sense. Should I confide to the oracle? Ahaha!

The Wild movie now showing and I'm going to see it next week, and my cousins are coming this Sunday but I'm not gonna take them with me. It's just off the budget but I will treat them some time when we go back to Lucena for vacation and it's just a few weeks from now. Can't wait.

This is where reality hits hard: PLANS FAIL SIMULTANEOUSLY and I'm still brooding over that Piano Lessons I wanted badly. I guess I'd have to get it myself and don't trust anybody else again over paying it for me and my dreams seems to have to wait. I think I'm forgetting something important: I use to rebel against the fad to get what I want and fears of failure succeeded in making me forget. Haha! I remember my brother borrowing money to buy what they want when all I did was ask for it. My reason: why do you have to borrow and return it when you can just get it and get away. I use to be resourceful and creative, and innovative. How could I have just left my personality lying dormant at the back of my head? Has it got something to do with my terrible need of hibernation? Haha.. Kidding! Aw! Even if I was hibernating, my brain couldn't have possible slept too and I'm not even doing the actual act of hibernating, just the being IDLE-DOING-NOTHING thing. I thought by the way, if I asked you what you were doing and answered me NOTHING, can you teach me how to do the NOTHING that you're doing? And how would you know that you're actually done doing NOTHING, and when do you stop? Would you chose SOMETHING or NOTHING? Ah, forget it! I just thought of that! It's just some diversion to relieve myself of the thought of stuffing my backpack with broken dreams again [Okay, I got some of those lines from a song and it makes a lot of sense, esp. in my state]. *sigh*sigh*sigh*

I tried using HaloScan for my comments but I just can't give Blogger up. That'll do for now.

Aaaaahhh! Monkeys! Can't get enough of them! Kainis! Haha! Lately, I've been classifying some humans to specific primate species. I have ways of secretly making fun of people, you know! Haha!

I'll be posting Boris' "15 Things Common to Bloggers" next time. Hi, Boris!

I ran out of ideas to share though I did have a lot when I was thinking the other day. Even that night when I've seen 10 Things I Hate About You, and stayed up late fantasizing on Heath Ledger. Haha! He's not my type but his role in that movie is so charming and lovable. Awww! I wish to remember it next time I write and I will share! Oui!

BSB's been away for 3 months and 7 days. When are they coming back? I hope they come back this way again next year.

I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!

I love MONKEYS!

This life is a refuge for monkeys. I love primates, they're everywhere. You can't avoid them, you just have to play along and monkey around. Haha... I'm so glad that I know my monkeys. I'm sure I'll be monkeying with them for a long time. Monkey-talk... I do my own monkey-talking. If you don't like animalistic approach to human life, you will probably never understand what I'm saying. I'm so near to worshipping Charles Darwin for his Evolution theory and Natural Selection. I hardly see the difference between humans and monkeys except for the obvious. Scornful creatures! can you blame me for liking animals more than I like people. Ich wünsche, daß ich sagen kann, über was ich genau spreche. Sowieso versuche ich noch, trotz aller pathetischen Sachen nett zu sein, die um mich und alle diese scornful Geschöpfe bestehen. Ich bin zu ihnen wirklich nett. Bogen! Oh, well. Enough of my NONSENSE! Souci pas. J'ai trouvé une manière de se débarasser du problème ! Ces idiots ! Wahahaha!

Nickelodeon have a good way of educating kids. I just learned something about FLABS. It made me feel a lot better about being fat. I just have to find something to do to spend my unused energy which I store as flab. NO DIETING NEEDED! Yeehah!

My Statistics class: Pure pawnage! Owning! Mmm-Monster Kill!

I wanna go to Germany, my trip na di matuloy-tuloy. I wanna go somewhere away from here. Well, when all of this is over. Summer classes I mean. Now, I'm beginning to feel the rotting sensation. My room is my home but it's getting smaller everyday. The world is big and I wanna explore it. I need to literally go somewhere, anywhere away from home. I'm getting sick of staying inside this box. The world is for me and I was made for the world to see. I short, I'm getting bored. Roadtrip tayo minsan, mga tsong!

Someone tried to steal my calculator today. I'm not really sure if I'm just paranoid or some small-time pickpocket just tried to open my bag. Stupid creature! I've seen the tactic for the second time and this time it's on me. A guy, who looks like he's in his mid-30s or above, is carrying this backpack that looks empty, closes in on you. almost cover your bag with their bag and try to sneek their filthy hand into your bag. I knew better than to bring my phone to school. Dummy! You can hardly trust strangers nowadays, they are either maniacs or kleptos. Freaks of nature! Or if I will try to see it the other way, I must have left it slightly opened but it's so impossible that my calculator would've have found it's way to the opening even if I throw my bag upside-down. Maggots! If he isn't what I think he is, why would he try to sit closer to me when I'm moving away to my left, pushing those to my left as gently as I can when his companions are at the further right edge of the jeep, near the door and when I first saw that modus operandi, those guys also went down somewhere in Salitran. God forgive me for judging them or forgive them for doing what I think they do, whoever did anything wrong to anyone. Hobos!

I'm being a tactless writer again. I've been causing trouble again. I'm not a straight-forward person and I prefer dissing through writing. Haayz... I wish I can be nicer but explain things in a nicer way. I'm sorry...

Something's wrong with Blogger, I've been editing my links and tried to put in Haloscan codes for the comments but it just won't publish. What is wrong with the world today? I'm not telling any of my unfortunate series of events last week. So just that you know, I tell you that some things happened. *AW!*

I forgot whatelse to write so when thoughts get back at me, I'll be writing again.

Red Sunday

I can't stay forever like this but please let me...
Just like this, looking at your face...
Loving you from where you are, far away from me...
You may not know it but I'm just here waiting for you...
I love to love you like this, so just let me...

Cogie's real name is Redmond, and his surname Domingo is the Spanish word for Sunday. Got it? Hahaha... I wrote that in one of my post some time in July of last year. Wala... Share ko lang 'ung poem. No rhyme, a lot of reasons, it's a freeverse! All for Cogie, my LOVE!!!

cruel summer

My last post had been so nasty. I know but carrying on with such arrogance feels good esp. when something annoys you. So, deal with it! Guess what... I'm writing my Richard Gutierrez hate post soon. Watch me diss him. Haha!

I've turned into a bone collector just this morning. Haha! I saw these lizard bones outside my window and decided to preserve it by applying colorless nail polish. Well, there were no legs just the skull and the spine. Ants must have carried the legs to their lair and fed on it. Poor thing! Accidentally, I broke the spine by my facial wash tube. Haha!

I've been having strange dreams during my afternoon naps. Not that they are strange enough to become mysteries needed to be solved but I just don't see any connection to day-to-day life.

I survived the Midterm exams! I know deep in my heart that I passed. I don't need a high grades, I just wanna pass if that won't be too much to ask.

The words of Imaw are resonating in my head, it went something like: Merong mga pag-ibig na walang kaganapan... Minsan kailangang makuntetong ibigan sya mula sa malayo... Gaya ng bulaklak na ito, pwede mo syang hangaan pero di pwedeng angkinin dahil mamatay sya... Well, not exactly the exact words but they make every sense you can think of. As much as these words have been said so they can inspire, they gave me fear. What if I never get the only thing that completes me, or atleast get close enough to ponder on its beauty. What if I die without meeting Cogie? I've seen the Backstreet Boys close but we've never met, what if even seeing him from the same distance that I've seen BSB would never happen? Noooooooo!!!

Tomorrow is Earth Day? Have you done anything for your planet today? I haven't.

My lips are chapped and something in my tongue feels uncomfortable. It's a cruel summer. I'm using a whitening toner but I think I'm getting darker. Summer is bloody cruel! I never had beautiful midriff and it's gotten worse. I think I have to buy new sets of uniform for this coming school year, new clothes for Wash days. I have 50+ blouses in my closet, but I think only less than 10 fits me, 2 pants, 2 shorts [no real problem with indoor clothes, just that some needed to be sewn]. I look like a pregnant porpoise. Heck! I can't wait to be made fun of. I'm getting sick of it but I can't do anything about it, hahaha! The best thing I can think of is stay away from people. They make me suffer for being in-loved with eating but they are nowhere near to making me bulemic nor anorexic. I will lose weight, I will be fit again, I am going to wear my other clothes again but not through dieting or starving myself in anyway. Food is too good to miss out on, and a lot of people, mostly children in the world today are starving and I am not so I'm not going to waste time on dieting. In case those freaks do not know, the older people grow, the more food they need to take in. Yeah, I'm making an excuse for being fat, so what?

My birthday this year falls on a Wednesday, and I only have 1 subject on Wednesdays, and it's only in the morning. Now, I'm still undecided whether I will have my friends come over to eat just like last year or I elude and sleep the day away like my 18th birthday. I'm still finding reasons to do things and partying also needs a reason. We'll see... If ever, this will be the greatest disappearing act the world will ever see. Haha!

I already updated the links. More celebrities coming soon.

I'm craving something... the original Cup Noodles from Japan. Aaaahhh! How on earth will I get to eat that again without having anybody coming from Japan give it to me. Waaah!!! You know who you are... UWI NA KAYO, PASALUBONG KO!!!

Plans fail, and I'm thinking it through. I have to do something for the future of my music career. HAY, NAKU NAMAN TALAGA! WALA AKONG MAISIP!

Gelada is Sugar

I'm a hater and you can do nothing about it.

I'm trying to be nice so I won't say Sugar Mercado looks like a Gelada Baboon. Haha! I've seen this episode of the Kratt Brothers' Be the Creature last Sunday featuring, whatelse? the Geladas of Ethiopia. They so reminded me of her. She had this interview last night in 24 Oras and I'm not sure if there's something wrong with her lip muscles 'cause she won't move her lower lip, or her teeth are to big, or she's just trying hard to be cute. Geladas can move their upper lip up to their noses to show emotions, and Sugar seem to move only her upper lip when speaking. I find it surprising how people would buy her look-at-me-I'm-crying-pity-me-and-like-me antics on national television. She's earning a lot and getting famous but that's it. I think she's a schizo. She's 19 but acts like she's only 7 [including the way she talk, pacute but 'di bagay]. She cries senselessly and exaggeratedly, there's no truth in her tears esp. during interviews... Oh, puh-leeeeeez!. She should see a psychiatrist. She shouldn't even use God to get sympathy. People like her not because she's adorable or lovable but because people love seeing other people make fools of themselves. They say she got some college education but acts like she didn't even graduate from elementary. Seriously, you can make people laugh without having to look ignorant. A lot of comedians never got to even finish their gradeschool but they still look respectable, and people can distinguish that it's only part of the act. With her, there's no difference between her and her act. I wonder how she even got to join Sexbomb when she can't even dance. Most of the time, I only see her do that thing with her arms, waving them up and down. And I thought Jacque Estevez was a bad dancer *sheesh*. I just hope she'd give her a new packaging. There isn't really anything wrong with being tearjerky but if it's OA, like her, she should be sent to get some acting workshops. Her tears are forced, and the way she cries really gets into my nerves...

I despise people who make fools of themselves.

I'm a hater and you can do nothing about it.

Anyway, it's simply annoying that the cable is down. I hope it comes back tonight. I wanna watch this movie tonight. I still haven't had lunch 'cause I just woke up from my afternoon nap. I'm so glad that I finally let out what has been annoying me. So that's it, I'll get something to eat now... Buh-bye!

201st

I was 15 minutes late this morning. Atleast I'm not having hard time catching up with the lesson. Taking only I class, helps in my concentration. Just one fact annoys me, no cute guy in class. Well, there's this one who may qualify but he reminds me of someone. He smiles a lot like Luis Manzano and I don't like Lucky.

I thought I was gonna puke. I had a glass of halo-halo, then stormed through a bag of cornick, which is like a feet tall, then forced myself with mocca ice cream. I'm still dizzy, and cooking up some noodles. I felt like I've never had mocca ice cream in years. Haven't had cornick for a long time too. I'm just glad I got through it.

So Ybrahim did die in the hands [or arms] of his own child, literally. I think this is Encantadia's last week. Avisala!

Yay! Imagepop.com is back online. I thought I lost all the pictures I kept there.

Matteo is nauseating. Been surfing Penshoppe.com and he's all that I see. 'Asan na si Cogieeeeeee!

Hoy, ikaw! Umayos ka nga, walang natutuwa sa'yo kundi sarili mo. Hahaha...

I haven't had a decent meal today. No rice at all. But I'm having some tonight or if I don't, I might pass out.

I'm done with YOU! Ayaw mo magparamdam ah, so be it! Di na kita papansinin pagpunta ko jan. Buh-bye na! This will be the last time that the world will read anything about you from me. They don't even know you're name. I will never forget you... Rest in peace... Ahahaha!

I miss eating original Cup Noodles from Japan. I wish I can find them in PX shops here. They don't make local counterparts as good as the original which reminds me... Bryan is Japan right now. Maybe I can ask him to buy me those noodles. I'm not sure if my cousin is going back to JP anytime soon, so my only hopes are Bryan, my uncle, our family friend's daughters. Kainis!

I still haven't posted the celebrity links I researched. I'm just too lazy.

Ang hirap talagang kumain ng walang tinidor.

It's not fanaticism. I'm not obsessing. It's true love. I love you, Cogie.

201st post and counting...

blue on black saturday

I've done a lot of thinking last night. I was thinking of this something I used to love, I've always held on tightly and possessed. I still think I own it but it's out of my life. I've always wanted to let go but my hand just held on tight. I want it to just always be there, but then I realized it just can't and won't. It has its own turns to take, evolutions it has to go through and there are no other options left but let it go. I wanted some sign before I hand it over to destiny but I don't want some humongous billboard to fall from the sky, and hit me hard on the head before I start to comprehend the reasons of things. Change is constant but I didn't expect it to happen so fast, well, not actually fast but my eyes had to be deceived before truth could reveal itself. I keep on saying it but now I will do it. I'm getting rid of YOU, until I get over the fact that you have silently got rid of me atleast that's what I assume. Never had any word from you for a couple of weeks now, and yeah, I started this cold war but you should've proven me wrong. Buh-bye now. This time, it's for real but you'll always be my friend and I hope you'll always know. Buh-bye now. I hope I can do this...

Hold it... Stop... Don't touch anything! Before you proceed to the next part, I just wanna make it clear that the first paragraph I wrote has nothing to do with romantic love, it's all pure friendship. Okay? Alright? Uh-uh, I like! Hahaha...

Truly blessed is this year's Holy Week. Water from the faucet felt like it came down from heaven. Not that the weather's really, really hot but a nice bath, and a good night's sleep felt cleansing deep down to the soul. This time of the year, I felt baptized once again. One minute I was filthy with sins and short comings, the other I was cleansed. It felt good to be back in grace. I feel better now, I survived the harshness of last night's lonely thoughts. I have plans [I actually don't run out of it] and I think I have enough will to make things happen. Heavens have given me new life, I was saved once again, all oever again. I will be forever thankful...

Bright side naman beybehs!

Thursday. My cousin came. Wala lang. He treated the fam to merienda. A lot of net surfing, then we had our movie that night. Grabe! We stayed up till 4am. We watched Fear 2 and Monster Inc on the pc. Friday. Tv lang. Channel surfing. Then, we had a long chika till 3am. I also dived into my closet to pick some old stuffs and have my cousin choose what she wants and the rest will go to my other cousins who are coming next week. As much as I wanted to keep them, I had to give them away 'cause they simply wouldn't fit me anymore. I also... shoot! I forgot what I was going to write. Haha... I'm currently stalking celebrities. Haha... I'm doing an intensive research in Multiply.com. Haha... Writing down every site I can find of familiar, almost famous names. I can't believe I'm actually doing this, acting like a real fanatic. Don't get me wrong! All I care for in Philippine Showbiz is Cogie Domingo and if finding him means having to stealth through these people, so I will! Haha! Okay, okay, call me obsessed all you want lalo ka na *prrrt!* Haha! Ikaw nga! Speaking of Cogie, I saw na the pictures fo that girl that I wrote about some time last year. She won a date with Cogie. Inggit ako! When will I get a chance to meet him? *sigh*

*~*~*~*~*







I like her, she's really nice unlike... Haha... Secret! Oh, just a reminder: I do not know her personally, okay? I hid her username intentionally. Peace!
*~*~*~*~*

I plan to learn Vectors this Summer. I already tried na with the tutorial site I got but it's really difficult. I will try again, it's time fr something new. I just hope I don't get too lazy carrying it through.

Please don't think I'm disgusting but... Man, I stink na! I could smell myself because I covered my face with my sweaty shirt. I didn't want to but I can smell cigarette being smoked from outside of the house and I prefer getting dizzy with my own smell than suffocate from cigarette smoke. I will take my bath after I'm done with scanning these celebs' Multiply contacts. I will have them link here any time this week. But I do not guarantee that they are the real thing. Basta, that's what I found. But then again, I will eat first. I'm starving!

I read that Cogie has been spotted and his a bit chubby now. I bet looking healthier, he's cute as ever now. And bagay na kami! Yiiheee! Ride on, 'wag kayong KJ! You know this makes me happy! Ahahaha!!!

YIHEEE! MY 200th POST!!!

I LOVE!!!

down deep

Hooray! Good news, got it confirmed that Drew's coming back. "Ayt, see you when school starts". Hee-hee! It would somehow bring very little ease to my loneliness. This early, I'm depressed. My friends are graduating next year, only a few will be left to finish where they left off, mostly are the shiftees that belong to other colleges. I can't and I don't wanna imagine myself without my friends. I got news this morning, one of my friends' friend died. He said something about sleeping when you're hungry. I remember doing that just this morning. I was up till 3am, I'm hungry but I prefered to sleep than grab anything to eat because if I eat, I will get sleepy, and if I sleep without having digested my food first, I would still risk it. And how would I feel if I was the one who lost a friend to death? I'd rather lose my friends through differences that cannot be settled than have them dead and have to attend their funeral, see them lowered to the ground. I don't think I can bear it, that kind of pain will be far too much than I can imagine handling. GOD FORBID IT! But I will admit, imagining myself dead and all this people mourning for me. Well, I prefer cremation. Haha... Alright, dark humor isn't always appealing but I can't help it. You tend to propagate morbid thoughts in your head, you go way beyond possible possibilities and you end up breaking down in tears. Haha...

I'm trying to fight it but they still keeping running in my head, but I'm not giving up the fight. I will try my best to be nice... Hahahaha!

even more devastations

Heck! Try to look at these: 1) Scoop Magazine January 2006 Edition will have to wait till July, 2) RG is starting to shoot CB [Darn you, Chardy!], and now... *Drum rolls* That BSB Official Book is on sale for only P80 in BookSale in Starmall EDSA Crossing, and I want to have it. I'm nto sure if they have any other stock of it, since that's where Mariya got her copy, I don't know how to get there [I'm geographically challenged! Di ako marunong lumuwas! Grrr... I'm doomed to being an eternal home body. I don't know how to go anywhere alone except for Lucena, and Imus. *pfft!*] I'm not sure if I can find it anywhere here, anywhere near me 'cause I haven't really checked since I've only been informed just now, and through mail. I could ask to have someone from the YahooGroup to buy it for me, and pay for it but claiming it would be another problem. Heckadoodles!

I hate RG! I hate RG! Grrr... Let me say his name... I hate you, Richard Gutierrez! Why? Dunno! I just don't! Berserk mode!

Shifting to Senti Mode, now playing: 100 Years - Five for Fighting

Tomorrow [tomorrow is actually today 'cause it's past midnight already] is a holiday so I can stay up all night, all I want. I'm bored. I know I have a lot of reflecting to do. I just can't help but feel the pain of despair. I remember having learned something in Psychology about it, and should not be feeling this until I'm in my late 40s. It's something about achievement, when you grow old and weren't able to do the things you wanted to have done in your life, chances are you will feel either Despair or Integrity... It has something to do with the Ego, and it's killing me. I saw myself almost crying again yesterday. I'm watching tv watching these people, younger people, people my age, older people... that could've been me, I should've been that, that would've been better if that were me! Sh*t! And I said, I wasn't gonna lose hope... I actually am losing hope, wondering what the future holds for me, what is waiting for me out there, will I live to see my dreams come true or am I doomed for... God forbid it... A lifetime of failure! I dunno...

Next song: She Will Be Loved - Maroon Five

I've been camwhoring again [I hope I can upload them soon, I want them for my Friendster] this afternoon. That's what I do to feel beautiful. Haha... Ever since I've started gaining weight like crazy, I been feeling soooooo, uber ugly. My very little confidence have been reduced to a smaller amount. It's sipping the last of the very little I have. Atleast I know my best angles in photographs and I know my colors and how to combine [I'm talking about make-up, my theory: if you know how to paint, you know how to apply make-up 'cause it's a lot like painting, just that the human face is your canvas], I feel a lot better. Actually, I felt 18. Haha! I'm turning 20 this July but I'm still feeling 18. Yeah, 18's the number! Time goes by so fast. And did my life change, during the first two decades of my life? I hope so...

Senti mode is good time to reflect pala. Buti na lang Holy Week I thought of being nice and not elaborating why I hate RG. Haha...

Bless you one and all...

Fighting Temptation

As I write this line, Anghel sa Lupa is being shown in CinemaOne. I think I'm in heaven. I remember watching that on cinema with Cana. There were very few people who went to see it, atleast when we went to watch but it was really good. I'm not being bias just because stars in the movie but I just love the story. Plus long hair looks really good on him. Oh, my... I'm starting again. *sigh* I went to Robinsons then to Lotus looking for a cope of Scoop Magazine January 2006. I was told that there was a feature on him. Excited that I was, I was devastated to know that past issues will have to wait 6 months, meaning I'll have to come back again on July just to grab that precious. Am I starting to sound like Gollum? Haha... But darn seriously, that magazine is priceless. I wll do my best to get that ish for my birthday since it is when it's coming out again. I will have that or I will... cry! Waaah!!

It's holy week, and I haven't eaten meat. Hehe... But evil thoughts are running through my head. Forgive me... Good, but not actually good, things are just hard too resist. Haha... I'm only human, and my brain can go farther than I can reach by foot. Haha... So get over it! Ahahahahaha!!!

I'm just watching some vids in YouTube and it's loading fairly fast. I should be sleeping now but I just wanna blog at this time of the night. I was playing PangYa earlier with Jerome. I must say I'm improving. I also had a game and a conference with the other guys. Haha... Loads of fun! Of course, we're making fun of our fave friend, Amor, and Shaun's at it again with his... uh, what should I call that... "Philosophasterical tendencies"! And it's the first time in months that I've actually talked to Rende through YM. My brother bear is going to be a seaman! Haha... I'm being sporty now, haha.. atleast with my choice of games. Basketball with FreeStyle and golf with PangYa. Haha... I'm not in the state of being athletic and health buffiness, and I am so far from getting there anytime soon but I made some changes. I only eat waffles for lunch, ever since Summer classes started though I would eat lunch often when I'm not in the state of hibernation but most of the time, I just sleep during lunch time. Haha... I'm not sure if it will affect me in anyway, but hopefully it could help even if it's just an itsy-witsy bit.

Statistics isn't much of a burden at the moment, and I hope it doesn't change, or if ever, just change a little. I think I'm doing good and it would help if I could maintain it. I can't let Math prey on me again. I have to fight, I should be predator not a prey. I'mabitechah! Ack! Ahahah!

It isn't right but I'm seeing through a friend's indecency. She's of age already and she should know better than do what she does or atleast keep it to herself. I'm not judging her, I'm just disappointed. I know she could be submissive and do anything for love but, doesn't she know her limits? Or is that really love or just worldly urges? Carnal inclinations? I wish that she isn't just being impulsive on responding on things around her. I just wish...

It's late and I should be retiring now. I'll check again tomorrow if I forgot anything but for the mean time... Tulugan na!!!

Oh, now that's what I forgot! Haha.. I had the links made already and...

'YUN LANG!!

eye candy

Something new for the eye... My layout! Okay, I don't own it but it's really cute so I chose it. I got it from Blogskins.com. The links, the welcome message, the rest of the blog is still on the works but it won't take long. Trust me. I just need to rest my eyes for a few minutes and I'm back to construction.

AHLURVET!!!

Getting there

I was on my way home from school this morning when this woman sitting between me and the jeepney driver... break winded! Ahaha... To make it easier to understand, the woman simply farted. Ew! Luckily, I sat by the door. That was really disgusting. I bet half of the jeep heard it and smelled it too since they were behind. I'm not gonna sit in that part of the jeep again, atleast without anybody I know. The only people I remembering sitting there with is Val, Wilbert, my mom, and my cousins. Heck! Reminds of the BSB concert, the aisle was crowded, teeming with ecstatic fans when all hell broke loose... Haha! 'Di na nahiya!

Things are getting better. I found Victor Basa LiveJournal. Haha... I'm so proud of myself! Malapit na! I will find something on Cogie. I just know it. And, oh, by the way, I found some pictures of Penshoppe's P4P [Pledge4Progress] pictures, but I only chose those with Cogie in it. Another picture with him smoking. I don't really mind. Smoking doesn't make him less of the Cogs that I loved, hehe... Even if it's just in my dreams. I also found names with possible connections with him like Doris and Ana. Hmmm... Who are they? I have no idea!

Someone told me I needed some shameless self promotion. How do I start? You tell me. Firstly, I'm too shy to flaunt, secondly, I quitted my band [and I'm glad I did!], and thirdly... uh?.. I'm so lazy to do anything. Haha... Nice, huh? I have ideas but Ihaven't started it just yet. They are so M:I [read ~ Mission:Impossible or just M:LP, Less Possibility]. Help me, help me! Anybody!

I'm not obsessed with Pinoy celebrities. NO, never. I just wanna be like them, I wanna be in their circle. It's the brightest idea I have to get to... who else! Haha... It's him alright. I can't stop thinking of YOU. Hurrrr!

I just love Ice Age 2! Still playing in my head, like a song giving me that LAst Song Syndrome. I still can hear Diego saying, "He's the gooey, sticky stuff that keeps us together...", And Sid, "He's tons of fun and you're no fun at all. She completes you." [*smiles sheepishly*], Manny with, "I'm the daddy, Ellie will be the mommy, and Diego, the uncle who eats the children...", Ellie, "This morning I woke up possum and now I'm a mammoth", Eddie and Crash, the possum saying, "Dung patch?", "My legs, I can move!", "He can move!", "I can run!", "He can run!", "It's a miracle!", "Hallelujiah!". Haha... I simply love it. I was thinking a concept for the next movie Ice Age 3. Hmmm... Manny and Ellie already has babies. Diego's former pack of sabertooths is back for revenge. The kid they saved in the first movie has grown up. Poachers are after them, and this time the kid saves them. I will wait for that third movie. Animated movies are so inspiring! I wanna be one of the artists that bring them to life. That is the career I wanna pursue after college. I'm not a good programmer, and I heard it's boring. I wanna give life to my childhood fantasies. I will make my own 4d animation someday, and the stars... the folks of my fantasies. I'm writing them down and probably have them printed as a children. I wanna make my own Bestsellers. I can make that dream come true with not much effort unlike in my Performing Arts, you'll need connections or get discovered which will take years and I'm not sure if I have enough patience for such undertaking.

I think I'm starting to sound like Sid. Haha... Cuteness!

I just have so many dreams, and talents to go with it but I don't have much support but, hey! I'll get there, in time. *sigh* In time...

I will make a website for Cogie someday, I just have to learn some more things and then I'm off...

Zoom!

Higher

First school week is almost over, weekend na! It's tough re-adjusting my sleeping patterns but I think I got the hang of it. My eyes hurt already but I haven't blogged for days and I so i will...

The Ice Age characters are still talking in my head. Awww... I wanna see it again!

I was on YM earlier with Mhel in webcam. Haha! Hi, Mhellow! You're telegenic or should I say, "webcameogenic"! He's so cute with all the making faces, and the beautiful eyes... Hehe... I replied to his latest post and he told me that it wasn't really his birthday. Hehe... I think I just didn't read the entry well or my brain is still in hibernation. Oooohh!

I was going to write something about some Pinoy celebrities but I thought I'd rather not or the others may get me wrong and I don't wanna offend certain people. I'm trying to be nice just this once. Hehe...

I haven't talked to my tropa for almost a month now and I was lucky to catch Val online and asked him how his internship was and he said, "Tataba ako sa munisipyo, pakain nang pakain", then signed off. Nice. I do see Patrick go online but I don't know what to ask, Jerome want to play FS with me but I just don't catch him but we send messages, Mac rarely goes online but he replied to my PM in Friendster, and the rest... No news. I guess bonding will have to wait till June. Haaay!

We are drifting away from each other once again, but this time I'm afraid it'll not be so far from saying goodbye forever. Not sure what will happen next but whatever it is, I pray it'll be for the good of everyone. I just hope he'll never forget that I will always care even if I sport otherwise. Sorry...

Weird, but I had/am having this dream that I do not actually remember what exactly but I do know that I love that dream. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Haha...

Statistics isn't really as hard as I thought it'd be, well atleast not for now. It was cool as breeze but this Summer class and summer itself isn't as friendly as it was last year. I've seen familiar but not so friendly faces. The aura in the classroom is just neutral. No vibe of friendliness, nothing so exciting about going to class [except seeing Edd next door, I wonder what his class is], no nothing. The people just feels so... dull. I'm glad I know someone from last Sem, Mitch from our Psychology class, another guy from the same Psych class [forgot his name], and Sonel from LAN. The rest is... Ugh! Mostly were from CLA, which I suppose explains the aura but I did imagine myself becoming a CLA student but... Grrr! I hate their [those in class] energy level because it's like +1 down to negative something. Dunno! There are lots to be discovered since it's only the first week, and till then.. I hope they change. Yun lang.

Still no sign of Cogie anywhere. I did try something crazy [one of the dozens I've plotted] to get in touch with him but it just didn't work. Well, I'm not running out of ideas but I'm not sure how to start my operations or how on earth am I going to make them work. Heck! The stars will help, they always did and I will... beg them! Waaah!

Plans fail and I've already expected it so it didn't really hurt. I don't think there will be piano lessons for me this summer. Eager as i am right now to re-learn, there are things that is totally out of my control and I just have to accept how things turn out. I'll still pray to get what I want but... basta! we'll see na lang.

Embarrassing as it is, I think it's stupid but kids make me cry. Well, It's so frustrating to see poeple younger than I am achieve more in life than I do and succeed in your frustrations. You wanna be 'this' but you can't 'cause of 'that', you compare yourself to these kids, and you start to think that if you were given the same opportunity when you were their age, you know you just would have done better. I'm not that old, I'm just turning 20 a few months from now but... Argh! *sigh* I can't help but think, "That could've been me". I believe God has plans for all of us but I would prefer to have it all, be "it"... It makes me feel too old to do things. For almost two decades now, I have been a dreamy-eyed child. I appreciate that I got the very few people appreciate my potentials but it seems that I just can't get people to help me appreciate myself and reach for my star. Too much or too little, I demand it! I blame them because I just got tired of blaming myself. I wanna make changes but... I dunno, I'm totally lost.

On the lighter side, I'm still considering a new layout, my own. I just need time to learn how to. I still haven't encoded anything on the first one that I made. Help!

It's late, gotta go to bed, maaga pa 'ko bukas! Nyty! [Umaga na pala, 12:10am] *Kisses*

Vibes of Summer

Meine ewige sorge hat beendet. I hatten einmal einen Boden, zum auf zu stehen, aber jetzt verlor ich sie. Ich werde schließlich mit meinem Kampf getan. Es ist Zeit, an zu bewegen. Ja schaue ich zurück, aber ich komme nie zurück. Ich finde einen höheren Boden und einen Versuch, um dort zu bleiben. So bis dann...

Translation, nevermind. Let those who know the language understand, and let those who do not remain ignorant. There are just some things that are too much for me to handle. Like the Spice Girls said, too much of something is bad enough. Hint: I've decided to leave the band for good. I will still play with my friend but not for ES, not even if they change their name. There are just some things that I won't take any more of. Not, no more.

Why do I feel like things aren't gonna work? My plans are taking unlikely turns and I'm not liking it. Something is wrong but I don't know what. And basta... I'll update you later when I figure things out.

Someone said something to me that I did not understand but sounded bad. I got offended. It has something to do with money and... I'm making it one of the factors to... forget things. I know she can be vulgar but I never thought I'd hear it from her, atleast not in my face, whatever that is that she said. Buh-bye na lang, Biatch!

On the other hand... Haha! To my "Popular" HS Batchmates, a big round of har-hars goes out from me to you. 'Asan na kayo? I knew 'he' was right when he called you "magagaling". Di kasi kayo nagtatanong eh. 'Kala n'yo kayo lang ang magaling. Haha! Kayo lang sikat, kayo lang magaling, kayo lang ang masusunod. Haha! Your popularity didn't really serve you well, atleast not after highschool. Yeah, I'm being bitter, sourgraping... Call it what you want, all I know is I'm right. Haha... Har-har sa inyong lahat, BOW!



I went to see Ice Age 2 last Saturday and it freaking rocks and uber cool! There were a lot of new characters like the two possums, Eddie and Crash, one of which reminds me of Shaun because of this gesture he makes [a knock on the chest, and a peace sign], Ellie, the female mammoth, Fast Toni, the armadillo, the two water predators, a tribe of miniature sloths and a lot more animals. Scrat is at it again! He's that squirrel running after his chestnut... Haha! He's been through a lot for that nut. You should see it. I went to see it alone but it never stopped me from laughing. The story went around Manny, thought he's the last mammoth on earth, Sid, trying to prove himself, Diego [My fave character], fighting his fear of water and Ellie realizing that she isn't a possum but a mammoth. It still has that certain something that made us love the first movie and it had a lot of water splashing, flowing everywhere. I love everything about the movie. I will definitely add that to my collection. I will buy a copy of the film when it comes out on video. It's, actually, the first movie I've seen this year and buena manos are always a sign good things to come.

I was just reading Maxene Magalona's blog and I find it weird. Haha... Wala lang.

Man, I miss my friends! They started in their internship already and I won't see them until June. One of my friends are coming back this May. Oui! I love it.

Let's see measure the distance: Me - Renan - Grace - Dawn - Cogie. 4 degrees, ang layo pa rin! If you'd call YM connection friendship it'll only be: Me - Dawn - Cogie. If I could only ask her his Yahoo ID so I can add him or his cellphone number so I can text him or his home address, so I can visit him... Maybe it's obsession and some may find it scary but do I have to confess all over again how much I like him and how much I really wanna get in touch with him, be his friend. But after what happened with 'F', he's probably think twice about hanging out with strangers. Haha... I'm dreaming! There's nothing I wouldn't do and the heavens know it. Kahit friends lang, sasaya na 'ko ng sobra. I admit, I'm jealous of those people esp. girls in his circle of friends and even those who just get to see him. Sino ba naman ako? I'm just a fan. Still, I'm not running out of hopes...

Summer classes are on and I already missed today's. Hay, naku... 'Yun lang.

Lot of new shows coming up on GMA, now I can't wait. By the way, the Gospel of Judas premieres this Sunday at 10pm on NGC. I gotta watch that. The stories of my fave tv shows are getting better... Yum!

Have I forgotten anything? Di bale, next post na lang. [Taglish, make my entry sound so... uh, cute? Hehe...]

[P.S: A lot of movies to watch out for: The Wild, Happy Feet, Da Vinci Code, X3...]