All about the money

I need bills and I need it badly.
...blessed are you who has lots of it, you who's got bigtime folks to give it to you and you who earn it for yourselves. I do not envy you, really.
I wish I have more money so I don't have to borrow instead buy the books, or anything for that matter, that I want.
HeArT & sOuL

Hell, yeah! I really wrote this and hell yeah! It's so true! Good things come in good prices. I'll try to do something this summer to earn money. And good thing too, that I'm taking summer classes. Am I being materialistic? Not really. I just have a lot in mind to buy and then new stuffs are coming out all at the same time and now I'm flooded by debts I owe myself. Well, yeah. I should've saved earlier like when I was in gradeschool I get to buy some of the things I want buy saving for it but the habit broke off when I was in highschool because BSB took their hiatus and I went away from all the resources. Have I really relaxed? Not quite.

I don't mind starving myself to save the money I need though it defies what I use to believe in. And also, I have plans. I'm cutting down on my Christmas shopping so I may save some for January. What a way to start the year though it's the later part of the year.

All these body fats are killing. I take pictures of my fatty parts ever now and then, and things are getting worse. I seem to get bigger evry month. I'm cursed! The teases probably won't stop unless... I get someone to help me and I know just the right person but I need the right words. I always have the resources and the money to get what I want but my shame and doubt, and pride gets in the way. I always have a way to end my suffering but there are reasons I cannot tell the world about.

Hurrr! BSB, I'm waiting for your return. I won't miss you for the world.

I can't find a way to be sad these past few days. Haha! BSB saves me always. They stole my reasons for loneliness; They washed away my sad face, and flooded all my empty space. They take away life's heart break and I know with them, it's gona be okay. That's my song for them.

TEAM RP, on the lead in the SEA Games Standings! Go, Team Philippines. Thailand thinks they're being cheated on the judging. What's up with that? Just do your best, people. You're belittling everyone with such a statement.

Uh, people! You don't have to say anything, I can see through you. Beware with what you show me. Nothing can behind behind your eyes.

'yun lang!

Where's your agenda?

I met Tubs and the guys at the parking lot before I went home and he asked me this. I didn't get it right away and I was like, what agenda? Then I snapped out and said I was going home. I am so out of my head or out of focus. He's really into his ghetto thingy, isn't he? Anyway, let him live up to his reputation as the noble conio... He can manage and he can afford to live with it. Uh, I just needed to say that but I got nothing against it or him. I'm amused actually. I got words reciting by themselves in my head and Tubs somehow reminded me about some things...

Heyay! I've calmed down! The euber hyperventilating is over. Uh, redundant? i don't think so. And well, I spelled it correct; uber is wrong, baby. The U with two dots on top [I dunno what it's called, though] used in German is substituted with EU and not just U, baby and I just learned it today. Anyway, I still don't have enough information about BSB's Philippine tour so patience has to work its magic on me to calm me down as often as I have to be.

Not bragging, just want to share the blessing and speaking of bragging, I feel like it again. Lazy, seems-to-me-good-for-nothing people almost spoiled my day again. Look at this: I know and I'm sure that I failed today's quiz and then the teacher asks if we wanted to still take the next quiz 'cause we're already running out fo time and the creature went like, no need for the next quiz. And I was like, in my head, what the?! Are they just lazy or they think they're good enough.

Blah! I'm outta here!

The Call...

There's gotta be a way to believe that this is meant to be...

I gotta see them... I really do...

This need kills me.

*Takes a deep breath*

Help! Help!

Do or die, swim or sink!!!

Man! This is the greatest surprise of my lifetime. BSB's coming to Manila! I'm hyperventilating right now. I checked the schedules weeks ago but there isn't a schedule yet but just minutes ago I checked the tour dates on their website and I found out they're coming to Manila. I need a miracle. I need to see them live.

Someway, somehow I'll find a way. I really need to be there no matter what.

HEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPP!!!

Sentimental fool

I made some changes, yeah, and I've somehow loved it. If you have observed, the chatterbox is missing but there's a link below that says Next Page and you'll find it there. It's a special, no-post page. Not much of what I planned but'll do for now. I still cannot get on with that new layout plan. Lazy, lazy me! Now let me sing...

Now look at me, instead of moving on I refuse to see that I keep coming back. Yeah, I'm stuck in a moment that wasn't meant to last. No matter how I fight it, I can't deny it. You don't even know...

What's up with that? I've been seeing things now but not with my eyes, and hearing what other people say without words and not with my ear. They try so hard not hurt me but little do they know that I always choose to hurt myself. I know more than they choose to tell. Choices have been made, I made some for myself, and soon I'll be out of the picture before they even notice that I was missing. Books are a good company. They, for a moment, make you forget. The psychic strikes again. Haha! I'm so over it, really but I just can't help but think about it once in a while. But it's surprising that despite thinking I was hurt, I don't feel a thing at all. Thinking without feeling... hmmm... They should've not let me see through them. I have more reasons to drift away from them now. Goodbye. Goodbye. I fare you well though you know not of it.

You're clueless, I know. I'll cut it here for now.

Annoyingly, ME!

Yeah. Yeah! I'm a snob. So what?

There was this girl sitting behind me during my Sociology class who seems to constantly smile, talk you off like you were close to her and ask for paper. I remember talking to her once or twice, and yeah I smiled at her but not at her but I think it was about something we talked about but, sorry girl, I don't like her. Now I know what peeve meant in that Pet Peeves question they have in Groupee, though she isn't a pet and... yeah! Ugh! I just don't like FCs (Read: FEELING CLOSE). Maybe I'm FC too so I resent the act but... Whush! I dunno what else to say, really. Then during the period, we had a quiz and my pesky classmates from different courses and college has united with their lies. They've conspired, if I must say. They told the substitute teacher that there wasn't suppose to be a quiz today. Fuck the liars! I studied and in my thoughts I want to brag about having studied and tell the teacher they were lying. I wanted to show them the notes I jotted down and the handouts, that they say they haven't got or haven't been given, as proof and put them all to shame. The other substitute teacher who gave the lecture and was suppose to give the quiz but had to excuse herself because of an appointment has been humiliated in her absence, poor lady. You could tell they didn't review and though they look like nerd, most of ladies in the front rows, the title Nerd seem to be a privilege they don't deserve. They also, somehow, displayed lack of common sense. Mayabang ako? Thank you! They ask questions about the question being asked using another word which is actually synonymous. So, ano? Quite a way to start the day, huh? But I got sunshine in a cloudy day... Whoooohooo!

Blessed day, isn't it? Before i actually got in the room at the basement (That's where the Sociology class I enrolled to was held, 3rd floor down the basement... Isolated and creepy!), Rex saw me infront PLS and asked me to hop in and gave me a lift and dropped me off at CBA. He told me they, Adea, will be playing this afternoon at SM Dasmarinas and Zealots will be too. I wanted to come and watch them play but I'm already out by 1330 but I want to be home right after class. But still, I told him I'll try. Sigh! I also saw him the other day, while I was sitting down the parking lot reading Wicked, with Jobelle and told me he's playing for us in COSGA. And I'm looking forward to that one though that may be my last... because of some personal reasons. Holiday vacations always give me a lot of things to think about and that was one of it. I will say no more of this but... Haha! Basta! And, oh! I want to correct somethings. It was CSPC (Computer Science Program Council) not COSSC (College of Science Student Council) that seem to always put me at an embarassing situation with a lot of people watching. And Micoi, being my friend and a part of COS, has always been patient of me and tries to give in to my whims when playing. Haha! CS always makes me feel unwelcome and incapable. Maybe it's just me but they make me hate the way they do things, though they do good things too, really esp. when I join in any of their activities which does not include Music. I find them bias to particular people that they like but not all of them, just some and some, too, seem to act dumb. Sorry for the terms I use to describe but that is what everything looks like to me.

Have I turned to something inhuman? Nope. I'm just being myself. The fact that I'm not a straightforward, frank, honest or even a tactless person makes it hard for me to keep thinking straight seeing things like these and feeling it. Writing is one of the very few things I do best to let out the negativities inside of me and here you are reading it. I'm still trying to be nice, you know. I still have things that I choose not to share with people out of respect and of shame and out of having been lost as words. And I think I should keep the mystery of being me to myself. You don't have to understand anything I say here 'cause you won't or atleast not fully. Stuffs I put here are not even half of what is contained in my thoughts, I just thought I should let people know a portion of myself and... Waaah! Enough of that drama. Haha! I don't know how to end today's entry so I'll just puff out in smoke and evaporate like a phantom in the mist...

PUFF! Haha!

Life's fab!

Realizations here and there, life's never gotten this easy having bothering things out of your system, and satisfaction...

I see the world in a better way, so much better now. You have no idea how much burden I have relieved my self of. It has its up and downs, though. Solutions often give another problem, that is how to promulgate it. Neither my thoughts or feelings are always acceptable to other beings, human that they are. Today, the stars say:

Acting on impulse will put you in some strange -- yet never boring -- situations.
If you need to get away and you can't arrange to do it right this second, find somewhere to take off to for a day or so. You're feeling pretty darned rebellious right around now, and not at all game to sit still and let someone think they're in control of your life. Just don't take off without letting someone know where you are. They may be irritating, but they love you, and they'll worry.

And the other day, they say I should let out whatever it is I have in mind and be free of it all, and it jibed. Yeah. Tiger instincts working. I wouldn't be feeling the way I do today if I deigned not to act on what I think was right. The vibe's alive! Waaahaaay!

Plans! Plans! Got a lot of 'em, really but I have to wait. Patience is virtue, they so say. Yeah, right! So what?! I'm not virtuous and I don't lead such a life but still I have to wait. Like I have any other choice? Actually, I had so much to write last night and the nights before but, poor dear, I'm such a sluggard! And that's also part of the plan; if I have the gadgets for my own disposal, maybe it would prevent me from being faineant and get things done, and being so irritant having to wait for my turn on using things at home. If it was food, I'd have already lost my appetite. You see, things just gotta change and I'm working on it little by little and in my own way though I think it's still insufficient to get everything done exactly on time and the way I want them to be. Resources are scarce, I won't forget. Hoohoo!

Just saw a photo of a bearcat drinking in a cup the way humans do, off Gardo Versoza's Friendster photos and I find it amusing. Never thought it can do that. Haha! By the way, he's on my Friendster and the real thing, yeah!

Currently, I'm reading WICKED: The life and times of the wicked witch of the west, which I believe is a part of the Wizard of Oz since the story is set there and the prologue featured the well-renowned Dorothy, the Tinman, the Lion... I'm always halfway the book and I can say, it's not a children's novel since some languages and themes aren't suitable for them. Haha! Such as adultery... Yes, there is in the book I'm reading. The Vampire Book still isn't out but I can wait. That's why I got myself something to read while I wait. And then, I'm not so idle at all, am I?

I will write my plans over and over again on paper until I get everything done. I will not run out of paper to write it to nor of ink to write it with... Yeah, baby!

About the post before this one, it just meant I've had a change of heart and came back to what I use to love. Still don't get it? Read on...

I hope things will always be this way but if the dark days come again, May I see the same light I see today that I may make my way out of it and have my heart in the right place and remain there for the rest of my days...

God bless us all!

Comin' out and Over it

The stars has it and I had it too...

I'm rehearsing my act, let me play rockstar this one last time...

I hope to do it better now than I ever did before...

After this one, it may be gameover for me. I have to decide once and for all...

I hope I choose the right path to take and regret none of it...

May God be with me and us all!

Remembering...

† God bless the soul of Eddie Guerrero... Latino Heat goes on... Viva La Raza! We love you, Eddie!


I'm here without you but still you're on my lonely mind...

I'm, at this moment, listening to Edge's statements about Eddie and he, like the rest of the world, is in grief; He sounds like he tries so hard not to cry. Earth has lost another great citizen but that's life! We'll all get there someday when our own time comes...

Death is so dispiriting but once you get there... I don't know! Maybe we'll be set free. I have to be merry because things are doing fine but just this morning, our Sociology class found the topic, death along the way. Suicides, near-death experiences, light at the end of the tunnel... Whooot! Then there was this song, on my way home after dropping by Jollibee Lotus Branch, Bohemian Rhapsody, trekking the stairs down to the trike terminal the words: ... Wish I've never been born at all, rang. I didn't want to hear those things, I don't wanna see people cry... Sigh! Things always have to be tough. Going home or to school, I can't help but think of dying on the road, gruesome death. Yeah, I'm just being morbid or paranoid but every trip feels like it. There's always one or more day in a week that the driver of the jeeps I rode almost hit something or... Ah! Sorts of stuffs like that! Blah-blah! Nevermind!

I wish people would change. Yesterday on a jeep, there was this group of friends who was talking about weed... Yeah, drugs! The one on cigars, pot sessions, how they enjoy them... What's with that? Pft!?

By the way, the song Here Without You by 3 Doors Down is pretty good. WWE used it along the tribute video they made for Eddie Guerrero. Olare, Ese!

Well, I've grown a tree out of paper and magic water, twice and it's pretty! I shot some photos but they're still on my phone and... I have to wait! and wait! and wait! The Economics teacher was right; We have scarce resources but unlimited wants and there's so much I wanna buy for myself. So much but... I have to save or wait for anybody to buy it for me... Dang!

Daming space, noh? Wala na 'kong maisip. Sige, next time na lang...

Babayuuuuuuuuuu!

Adrift in Backstreet Bliss

I had so much in mind to write last night but I forget everything. I forgot what to remember... Hmm... Have I already written these:

I have never love anybody or anything as much and as long as I have, the Backstreet Boys? Yeah! Now I remember. I was watching this clip from an Extreme Makeover Home Edition that guested BSB. Tanya, one of the designers/ hosts backstage in one of their concerts, grabbed some stuff off their custumes and accessories and a copy of their Record Sales Award to put to the girls room and they even sang a part from Crawling Back to You for her. Man, one lucky girl! What do I have to give to have that chance? But of course, I prefer to meet and greet them, talk to them, take some pictures and take some songs. I'll try my luck... I have ways and I know this is for me... I have waited so long and I am waiting still but I will never run out of hopes till I get what I want and love... Yeehah!!!

Death everywhere. I am not being so affected by the death of Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire movie but, yes, it got me. All forms of death depresses me and touces me in some way. There's no such thing as Untimely death, I believe but we are too weak to accept that everything's meant to be and we can't do anything but be impotent and ask ourselves, "Why does it have to be so soon?". My spirit is at high unlike those days I had before but physical death is everywhere. I've watched so much murder on tv, suicides articles on school papers and magazines... blah-blahs... and now... Natural death, not that dying of a certain sickness is natural but atleast it didn't have to be brought about by other human beings to another; I had it confirmed from one of our department's faculty that the death of Ms. Vigith Herrera was indeed true. She gave birth to a couple-of-months old baby last Semptember, she had 3 attack [not sure if of the heart but I was told she didn't have any history of heart disease] before she got into coma then eventually died. Then just this week is Eddie Guerrero's death. He died of heart failure due to drinking and drug use and excess. I haven't read the whole article off the WWE site about the result of his autopsy but the first paragraph almost says it all. All we could do now is pray for him and all those we've lost before him, stars or not, those souls that needs our prayers that we may help them move on from this world to a better place where they should be, wherever that is.

I can't wait and now I've watched it! Daniel Radcliffe's a lot more gorgeous now plus, I have a new crush: Stanislav Ianevski as Viktor Krum, Robert Pattinson as Cedric Diggory, and, Fred and George Wealey but I didn't catch their name. Nyeeh! I'll be writing a different entry for that so you just wait, okay?

The Christmas Tree I've grown out of a paper and a chemical is now pulvurized. Haha! I've waited for it for a 2 days, It've grown and now I've destroyed it. But I will not destroy with0ut taking pictures. I would have loved to post the Before and After of the tree but I still have no uploader so you guys and I have to wait... Pft!

That'd be it for now, let's call it a night. Sleeping time. Sweet dreams everybody! I'll sleep right after I finish my BSB video and brushing my teeth. So, mwah! mwah!

I Pray...

Impulsive? I just know what I want. Only God know how long and how much I love the Backstreet Boys and I'm up to anything [as long as it does not harm me] that would help me see them in person. I checked out their Never Gone Tour Schedule and there's nothing yet for the Philippines so I still have much time to prepare for it if they're ever coming here. I cannot miss that one like I had years back when they first came here. No. Never again. I love them to much to miss this chance. Why is the video download taking so long? Hmm... There's this BSB video from a fansite that I wanna watch but can't unless I save it on the PC and it's kinda slow... Sigh!

Lemme hear everybody say, "Yeehah!". Haha! Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Movie is coming up and I together with some friends are going to watch it together. I hope it pushes through since I already have my SM Advantage card and a coupon for SM Cinema where I can get a free ticket when I buy 3 whch means free ticket for me. Ho-ho! Things are getting better, baby!

No new news about Cogie but I hope he's fine...

I have lots to write; Got so much in mind and I can't wait. I'm smokin'!!! Wah! I'm running out of ideas what to write. blah-blah! I'll cut it short here 'cause I'd still be back. You know I'm comin' back! Haha! I'm stuck with this blog. Haha! Life! I hope everything's fine for everybody else at it's bein' for me. So, Gtg!!!

First stone cast

There is something terribly wrong with me today or this week. I've seen so much that I would have prefered not to. Maybe that's what my eyes are called Evil Eyes for; I've seen so much evil these past few days let me recount:
1. I've witnessed a road accident. It's not fatal but it's still an accident. I saw how the jeep lost control and hit the bus on the buck then emitted.
2. There was this man with I-do-not-know-how-it-happened distorted right hand. He sat at the back of the driver and suppose to be the one to hand the driver the other passenger's fare but he did not. He reached for it by his left hand, pretend to face the driver, moves sideways to his left that he attracts no attention then puts the money his pocket. He did this twice and I'm sure he knew I was staring at what he was doing. Before the jeep got full, I had to reach out to the driver myself to prevent him from doing what he just did. He used his disability that people may not suspect him but I am very suspicious and paranoid when I feel something to be very wrong. Impulsive is my middle name.
3. There was this afternoon on my way home, who sat beside me and dodging glances at me. I don't like people looking at me, esp. older, maniacal-looking-dirty-old men. WTF!?
4. Another man, just this evening on my home from SM Bacoor there was another repugnant man. Something was stuck on his shirt and sits sideways like a lady and I don't like the way he looked, not only at me but... Grrr! I hate those creatures...
5. Why don't some people get a life and not just get drunk every night and annoy the people around with their overdramatic, senseless sentiments. They think they rule the world and everything in it. Blah-blah! Who need them in the world? They, who think only of themselves... They, who unconsciously blame the world for their failures in battles they lost and never thought of a way to overcome, Pity them all!

Some highlight, eh. School's still good so far; I'm getting all the help I need. The vibe is good, very good but I really suck at DotA. I met Jhayem in school before I went home and asked me about the game he wanted. He wanted bets but I still haven't seen Randy, Chrysler said he's the manager and he decides whether they'll play for bets, so the games ain't sure yet. He challenged me on a 1-on-1 but I said I was never good at it so I decline and it's a good decision.

I went to SM to grab some KFC's Chicken Steak but once again, I failed. They ran out of styros to put it to. When they put in the new set of styros, I already had my orders. Haay! But I also like what I ordered though I would want that better because I haven't tried those yet since they had it out like those Cheezy Fries from Jollibee. I always forget to buy that when I drop by Jollibee. Sigh!

That'd be it for now, Jewel in the Palace is now on and every scene's too good to miss. Gotta go for now and Jerome's waiting for me in GB Zone.

Ghosts of Damnation

"There is much to be learned from beasts," said the prince to the young lady as she runs her gloved hands through the tamed wolf's fur while the prince looked at her intently.

An excerpt from Neil Jordan's INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE by Anne Rice

ARMAND: ... They have forgotten the first lesson that we must be powerful, beautiful, and be without regret.
LOUIS: And you can teach me this?
ARMAND: Yes.
LOUIS: To be without regret?
ARMAND: Yes.
LOUIS: Then what a pair we could make. (Laughs.) But what if it's a lesson I don't care to learn?
ARMAND: What do you mean?
LOUIS: What if all I have is my suffering, my regret?
ARMAND: Don't you want to lose it?
LOUIS: So you can have that too? The heart that mourns her? H--- [I didn't get this one, sorry], burnt to a cinder?
ARMAND: Louis, I swear to G...
LOUIS: Ahh... But I know you did. You, who regret[s] nothing. You, who feel[s] nothing. If that's all I have left to learn, I can do that for me. [Let me cut it here.]

A simple conversation between two complicated vampires in one sensational fiction and it gives every sense I need of it, and the simple truth that we do not only learn from learnt beings of our kind but also from those product of creation that are either above or below the hierarchy that takes Intelligence as a standard. Vampires are undead humans, therefore humans no more; Just myths from the human mind or real, I do not know for certain. We say, we humans are the highest form of animals as we call the all else, brutes, monsters, beasts. Humans have ungratefully forgotten what they came from; Higher form or not, still animals.

I do not fully comprehend what I have just stated.

Be without regret, how do I be that? Though I try to be strong for myself, and the people and things I care for, my weakness just cannot hide or I cannot hide from it. I am constantly successful in keeping it away from people's sight but I cannot keep it from me for it finds me. I was on my home this afternoon, riding on a trike when I overheard the driver and a girl talking. He asked the girl of what year she's already in and whether she is good in Geography or not. The girl answered she's not and the driver started telling things about sparing other student passengers if they answer what he asks them correctly. He began explaining stuffs about how important educaton, Math and English were and all those blah-blahs. One thing struck me, the mere utterance of Math. He seem to know a lot of things and he's got this small whiteboard inside the sidecar with a prayer and some mathematical problems. Their exchange of thoughts lasted on the whole trip and I cannot help but get stirred. I was never good at Math and almost every particular event of my failures came back to me... not only in Math but everything that went with it and after it, related and not.

I, have regrets but, regret regretting it. I don't want to anymore feel the hurt it brings but I fear that I would lose everything human inside me. It seems to be all, or most of the things I have to keep me company during my loneliness. There's a segment inside my head where I hold every brokenness, the faces and names of those who tore me to pieces, ways to bind every broken piece and somehow keep it together...

I'm lost, almost completely.

I still...

I've just seen the new video for BSB's I Still... though I don't think it's been released yet. I love it. My Backstreet blood is back in cirulation after a long time of slumber... Ohhh... Ahihi! I love that song. It speaks straight to my heart. Aw... Sweeeeeeeet...

First day of school, I'm a couple of minutes late and my feet is sore. My new shoes aren't doing so much good for me. It felt like my sole will tear. I had to walk miles and I had to endure those... Shoes from hell! Well, I didn't mean that because I got it from my mom's hardwork but I had hell using it. Blah! I wouldn't wear those shoes again unless there's a special ocassion. I witnessed a road accident on my way to school. Ahh... Then I only had one subject today since the freshmen aren't back to school yet and they won't be until Nov9. A snail almost crawled on my butt this morning. Ew! I was talking to Aileen Chua, a former irregular subject in Logic, infront of MAH, where I've seen a lot of snails hanging already. We were sitting there when I felt something touch my pants. It must've tried to climb but I stood up out of alarm. I'm not scared of those creatures but I'm awefully disgusted. After the incident, I never sat again. I was talking to her and a friend on my feet. I hate slugs, I hate slimy crawlers, I hate slugs with shells... Snails are related to slugs, right? Ugh!

I can't think more of what to tell because I haven't had any meal today yet except for a cup of noodles and 3 scoops of rice that I had for breakfast and the fishballs and a glass of gulaman before I went home by 1130. My head's not working that well because of my empty stomach. I need fuel, you know! So, I'll just be back for more next post... Tata!!!

Incessance and Indiscreetness

I am scannning through some web pages as I write this entry. I read a, if I must say, seemingly accurate biography of Vlad, the Impaler or Dracula as he is more popularly known. What should I call the slaughter he brought about to the people in his homeland during his time? It was more than barbaric. The whole thing was indescribable. But, why does he fascinate me? Well, he was depicted in Copolla version of Stoker's Dracula in a more human way than ever can history. And I fell in love with THAT Dracula. The Dracula recorded in history was this blood thirsty, merciless monster that would indiscriminately kill to give himself pleasure. All this killing is killing me. I'm fearing for my own life now. I watched Imbestigador where there was this missing boy, same age as I am, who was allegedly killed by policemen and not just killed, he was dismembered. That would not have been a deed of a sane man or men for that matter. How evil has the world turned? Living beings are a lot more dangerous and fearful than those supernatural beings we would usually be afraid of. I do not understand why the world's history cannot free itself of killing and why humans use it to gain what they wish. Anyway, back to the vampire thingies... I remember this funny Jacky Chan Adventures episode I've seen about a Kyon-shi [Not sure of the spelling though, it's just how I understood what they called it], a Chinese vampire. The way to kill it was, according to that episode, getting its left sock [and yeah, it wore socks] putting something [I forgot what it was] in it and throwing it into the river. Some way to get rid of the undead, I thought but when I read this article about vampires, Gypsy vampires to be specific, the method was true. But well, of course, vampires are just beings of myth and lore though there were facts where these fictions were based from. Haha! Would you look at that. How powerful can the human mind be?

Speaking of human mind... I remember what my brother told me about "entities" in our home. As I write this part of the post, our wind chimes are moving. The chimes are placed hanging on the ceiling, inches away from the door and it should not move unless the door hits it or someone intentionally makes it move. What about that? Must be psychological... shared delusion or something. Or the wind coming from the fans is that strong that it reaches the ceiling and hitting it making it move or the earth's gravity is doing it. The earth moves, right? And perhaps it moves with it? Err... I can account for it but I do not want to scare myself because these stuff do not usually freak me out. I'm so used to staying up late and even later than this time when I'm writing tonight's post. This should've been during the Halloween. I would have wanted it to set my mood for that season but too late now for that 'cause it's over and the mood I want to get is for school. I want to get the mood for being active and alive in school. Blah-blah! Good thing they have these Telefantasia's on tv that will give you the warrior spirit you need to fight against the evryday battle in life. I should be done for now. I still have my folded clothes to put into my cabinet and my teeth has to be brushed before I go to bed. But before I go, I'd like to share that I got this BSB mp3 for LimeWire. Haha! It's the theme for the kiddie show, Arthur and it is awesome. Haay! Makes me love BSB more and more and also reminded me how mad I should be with those "Rockers" or they who call themselves "Rakistas", they who know nothing about music except for Rock music. They think Rock alone is cool. Poor poseurs and poseuses! They keep calling BSB a "boyband" when they're actually a VOCAL GROUP. Nobody wants RAKISTAS! The world needs open-minded musician not just music lovers who discriminate other musicians and musical genres because... I don't really know why? I must confess that's the trouble I'm having with my ES band. The don't wanna try other musical style. I don't wanna be locked up in a Gothic band forever or atleast while I'm in college. I wanna explore music and my talents. Well, okay I'm lousy on stage because I don't move that much or I still can't get over that stage fright but... Man!!! There's gotta be something more I can try. I'm already thinking of leaving the band to get another or quit it forever to pursue another career 'cause I can stay stuck with that kind of monotony; it's just not me. I hate routines and I easily get tired of it. I deserve something better, something more and I won't get it unless I do something. Like my PPS dream... I'm coming back to try it again when I'm ready but for now I have to regain the drive and motivation I had before last sem. I have so much plan and need so much more to obtain it...

I just need to write it in my To-Do list lest I forget. Please remind me to do that...

Darkened Powers

Transportation or Telepathy

You either have the power to transport or control things with your mind. Each of you have wandering thoughts although telepathers are quieter. You just want to escape from it all and spend time alone. You could use this power to either make someone hurt themselves or hurt them then transport so they won't know it was you!

What Love are you fated for?

So, you are the Non-existing love, huh? Or, "non-existing" might perhaps be the wrong word. You do love, you just don't want to get hurt. To you, pride is everything, and you rather never love officially, because then no one can get to you. I do this myself, and I can't say if it's good or bad... Alone is strong.

What is your inner angel?

You're The Dream Angel!! You believe in magic and wishes. You want everyone to be happy and are sometimes left in the clouds. You don't have LOTS of friends, but you do have quite a few and also you have your fairy tail friends or imaginary ones. Some people may think you're a nerd. But you arent. Remember, we're all unique. It's just our minds that choose to show how unique we are. When we decide to show more of our uniqueness, others call as wierd. It's not true. Go you!

Power: Making peoples dreams come true. As well as your own!

Appearance: Brown hair, cute green droopy sleeve mini dress, Long white gloves, and long white stockings, Large purple and white wings with purple eyes. Holds a sceptor.

Which element are you?

Quizilla.com

Water. Your calm and passive surface is an illusion, with your true personality surging just beneath the surface.

Personality: Because your first impression on people is so polished, you can come off shy or withdrawn. But you just need the right people or circumstances and you are more than willing to show your true personality. However, waiting for the right people to open up to is a double-edged sword. Yes you're playing it cool, but it also can mean that you're waiting to see if the person is good enough to be your friend. Your tendancy towards playing it cool leads you to be a bit more concerned with how you appear than the other elements. You can come off a little self-centered and picky, but this also means that you just want the best life has to offer and because you're selective with friends, it means you can share what you have without being taken advantage of.

Temper: It doesn't take much to get you stirred up; your temper is quick and decisive. But because you can use your anger so fast and so easily, it almost never builds up enough power to be truly destructive or vengeful. If you ever get truly angry, though, it will be perfectly justified, however it also means you can often over-react to the small things.

Can't get enough of these. Man!!!

The Haunted One

Quizilla

You are the haunted beauty whose life is marred by sadness. You are dreamy, delicate, gentle and melancholy. As tragically beautiful as any Shakespearean heroine, you possess a doe-eyed fragility that is strangely enchanting.

What's so scary about you: There is something rather unsettling about your fragile beauty. You are like a dream that no one can grasp.

Your gemstone: Moonstone Your Moon: Ice Moon (January)

I love these quizzes!

What is your true element?

Cool, eh? And Quite true...



Your element is Darkness: Self centered, strong
willed, mischievous and mysterious. Your quite
dark and often times frightening, although you
may be good looking its just a costume hiding the darkness of your heart. You detest everyone but yourself, people are simply insects to be burned under the power of your magnifying glass. People are somewhat drawn to your mystery but find out too little too late how cruel you can be. But you have a passionate soul, that is unless you already sold it. Pursuing whatever you set your mind to, you look at life with a 'Shut up and leave me alone' attitude most often because people generally seem to annoy you. You may be the ruler of darkness but you can often times become generally lonely, wishing for someone to share in your dance of darkness so long as they know who the master is. - Quizilla

Back from the Grave

I've risen and I'm coming back... to school! Oui! Ahaha! The days of thinking of what to do when there is actually none is finally and officially over. I still haven't watched Ispiritista, Harry Potter's coming up, Cogie's leaving... Haaay! My vacation's been boring but nonetheless fruitful. I had all the time to think about a lot of things, the probable decisions that have to be made, survival plans and strategies... and all those blah-blahs. It's quite pleasing and at the same time not that my holiday depression have not beset me like the past Halloweens I've had in my life. Pft! there it is! Haha!

Have you any idea what hardships I had to endure during the vacation? Man, look at this: I sit, lie, kneel and try every other contortionist position staring somewhere far beyond the human eye can see, trying to think of what to do. I want to sleep but can't 'cause I'm not sleepy yet... I gotta do something... There's gotta be something that has to be done... Dang! THERE WASN'T! I have finished everything for school last week the before this week and left nothing for me to do anymore. But anyway, I have my camera phone and my make-up kit and a lot of pictures are yet to be taken BUT I have to upload the other files from my phone so I can remove the unnecessary stuff I've been keeping in my phone's memory. I record my voice every now and then when I feel like singing or shoot videos but erase them the same day because I just had them out of anti-boredom trip... Here it is... Blah-blah!

Oh, by the way I learned somethign new over the Halloween. It's about DOPPELGANGERS. They say it's a person's ghostly counterpart and haunts its living double, it copies a person's appearances like an Astral projection or something. Supernatural stuffs has always been of my interest. Speaking of which, there's this book I remember seeing in the school's OPAC: The Vampire Book, Encyclopedia of the Undead by Gordon Melton. My unusual penchant for vampires is at it again. I gotta have that book or atleast borrow it that I may obtain the knowledge it keeps within its pages. Grrr! I must be mad! Bwahaha!

Oh, there! I still haven't done my layout. I'm not in the mood for designing lately. I feel lazy and I'm so happy being lazy. Like this entry... I need to write something because: I'm SOOOOOOOOO bored! There you go, I gotta go! Ahihi!

Dreams

There is something good about staying up late at night; I'm starting to realize more things or perhaps having a better look at them. Clouds are clearing. I began to remember the dreams I had when I was a child. My age and the world seem to have taken it from me and made me forget.

There's a place I can't let go,
Holding all the dreams I used to know

I was watching Pinoy Abroad and they featured Greece. I've always wanted to live in there. Greece has always been part of my dreams. Like when I dream of living there back in ancient times, the time of heroes, monsters, gods... Wow! I know I'll get there someday. I just have to wait. I also want to go to New Zealand and visit Middle-Earth, and Africa, the cradle of life and Egypt... Haaay! Then after Pinoy Abroad came Txtube. My heart was overwhelmed. They featured this event they called Rockestra, a fusion of rock bands playing side by side with an orchestra. I remembered one of my dreams... I've always wanted to sing with a large choir, accompanied by an orchestra. I had a vision of the future; If I can succeed with this band thing, I can make that dream a reality. I get to sing the songs I love... Touch souls... move hearts... Aww! Ambitious me! But, hey, this is my dream... I almost forgot... The sembreak gave a lot of time to think. My Souls' and Saints' Days in the past have been a time to reflect, contemplate... but even though this year's is not that good as the ones I had before, I'm still thankful.

Night is a good time to think than any time of the day. Puyat ako but it pays. I gave myself a Halloween Movie Marathon as treat last night. I started with my all-time fave Bram Stoker's Dracula and was refreshed with my dream fo love.This one, I never forget. I always had it within me. The morbid, the better; it makes it clear how a love was made by heaven. All is lost without it... As a bible passage said, If I have no love, I am nothing... Wait up! It doesn't always have to be love for the opposite sex, I have so much love for a lot of things other than that though I think about it every now and then for there is in all the world, no greater love than mine. You have no idea how great is the happiness I feel when I talk about the things I love... It gives all the meaning that I thought I've lost... Aww...

I still have a lot to write but I'm starving so I'll just write it next time when I get the time and the right words... Buh-bye!!!

Which Office Moron Are You?

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